Coffee and Sweat

That is what the conference rooms at my office smell like. At least the ones I have to pass to get to the water cooler, snacks, and coffee. So I pass them about 75 times a day. Each time thinking, why do they smell so bad? I mean we are a pretty swanky law firm for the Philadelphia area. Can't we have non-stinky conference rooms?

I guess that many a stressful meeting and/or deposition has taken place in those rooms. I remember having to go to a three day deposition in one of those deposition death-stars. Where there are a million depos going on at once, court reporters running around, lawyers acting all important, and nervous deponents. Oh and coffee. So the rooms smell like...yup you guessed it coffee and sweat.

At this particular depo I was very very pregnant, so my olfactory sense may have been heightened. But that smell got to me. It may have also been that the night of day one of the depo, I found out MSTBX was cheating on me. Not knowing what to do, I went to day two of the deposition. So I sat there, for 7 hours, thinking about some heavy stuff, trying to time going to the bathroom to cry so that I wouldn't miss anything important, and smelling f'in coffee and sweat.

I didn't make it to day three, as I started having pain in my baby growing region and wound up in the hospital. Turned out to be contractions so I had to go on a few days of bed rest. So that is how my first-ever deposition ended.

Anyway, that is what I think about when I smell the coffee and sweat of our conference rooms and I hate it. Maybe I should febreeze the rugs and chairs when no one is looking? Or put up one of those awful "vanilla-roma" car airfresheners?

So if you didn't guess it already, I am not in the best mood. As I get back into dating, I realize that I am totally f'ed up from this whole affair/end of marriage thing. Honestly, I am glad to be out of the marriage. He treated me like crap. But now, I am so untrusting and afraid to be disappointed by someone else. In part, I "blame" you all, my friends and family. Because you guys are so awesome, I just assumed that everyone operates on the same level of awesomeness. MSTBX was the first time someone truly showed me just how cruel people can be. And I was his pregnant wife, so I didn't take it well. He continued such selfish and awful behavior as I had the baby and our marriage officially fell apart. Now it makes me kind of gun shy in terms of maybe letting someone else into my life. That is so cliche, I know. And it makes me totally crazy and no one wants to date crazy.

With that rambling post, I am off to South Carolina with Jillian. That will definitely put me in a better mood.