Monday, December 31, 2007

Gansta, Burglar or Abu Ghraib Prisoner?

A quiz to start your new year: What is Jillian in these pictures?

a) A gansta (with the name Rank Dirty Rappa, See Gangsta Name Generator)
b) A burglar in pink overalls
c) A prisoner at Abu Ghraib (is that crossing the line? It is just what the picture reminded me of)
d) My date for New Year's Eve

The answer is (d) of course. We started our celebration by rockin' out to St. Scobie's kid's mix, 2006, hitting repeat on "Me and Julio Down by the School Yard" and "Hey Ya." Then we went out to dinner by ourselves (she was very well behaved even though I denied her a beer) and finished up with a Starbucks trip - peppermint mocha for me, cookie for her. Now we are home and she is in bed and I am entering night 10 (in a row) of sitting on my ass in my apartment alone.

So cheers is to 2008 being better than 2007 and 2006.

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

"I Can't Find the Bon Jovi Shot Glasses!"

Christmas is over, and as it will just be me and Jillian this New Year's, my "holiday season" is also over. I have no problem with that, the baby takes the pressure off of finding something to do for New Year's Eve.

Since I have deemed the holidays over, I find myself reminiscing about holidays gone by. Some good some bad. Let's take a walk down memory lane, shall we? A meandering walk, as I am not going in any particular order. Rather, this is a stream of conscious stroll.

I went to law school in the South. Where people like to put Christmas decorations on their car grills. Like a wreath tied on to the jeep, etc. Justsomeguy didn't exactly "get" this practice, or if he did, he thought it was bizarre. I am not sure how, or if, I got involved in the car decorating debate but I somehow was involved in justsomeguys dealing with the decorations. One night after classes and studying I walked to my car to find a GIANT plastic Santa tied on to the grill of my car. This Santa was just a head and his finger was supposed to be pointing to his chin in a contemplative manner. Except, as I later found out, he was from the dollar store and thus cheap. So his finger was more picking his nose.

It being late and cold, I just left the Santa on the car. Mind you, I had no idea who had put it there, given my indifference to the whole car decorating controversy. Anyway, the next morning, I forgot about the Santa and went back to school with it still on my car and still not knowing who had put it there. Eventually justsomeguy came clean and a few days later he helped me take it off my car. We hid it in TFry's carrell I think, or B-Rich's, neither of whom had any idea where it came from. Anyway, I drove around for way too long with a nose picking Santa on my car.

In college, the holiday season was synonymous with greek semi-formal season. When I was a junior, I was going to a fraternity semi-formal as was my roommate and soon-to-be acclaimed author, J-Bux. Apparently, I had a bit to drink at the pre-dance dinner, and continued boozing at the party. Lucking, when I went to the bathroom, J-Bux decided to accompany me. I went into a stall, did my business, and could not get the lining of my fairly tight, short dress, to pull down. I thought I got the outside part down and thus was decent so I gave up on the lining. Coming out of the stall, I hear J-Bux saying "wait, let me help you..." I insisted that I didn't need help and it was all good. Thankfully, she forced her help on me, because absolutely NO PART of my dress was pulled down below my waist. I am a classy date.

My parents' friends have a Christmas party each year, with the location rotating among their houses. This party involves a trip to Italian delis, bakeries, pasta shops, lots of wine, no guest with a last name that does not end in a vowel, overuse of the phrases "lemme tell you...." and "I'm not gonna lie, this is the best (fill in the blank with some kind of food)..."

One year, my parents were hosting and there was not enough room in the fridge for all the beer. My mom instructed me to put the beer on the porch. I was home for law school and bored, so before actually doing so, I took a couple cans of Coors light and dressed them as players in the nativity scene. Yup, construction paper robes and cotton ball beards. I carefully arranged them on the porch as a welcome to our guests.

Well, given the guest list, you can imagine that these people are Catholic and it is not just a religion, but a culture. While some people found it funny (including my mom, to her credit), others found it a bit out of bounds. I guess using a chocolate Santa as the Baby Jesus could be viewed as sacreligious but I didn't mean it that way and I am at peace with it. I think Jesus is too, and maybe even found it funny. My God has a sense of humor.

Also at this very party, I decided to drink a bottle of Jack Daniels by myself. I shared with my littlest sister, who was maybe 18 or 19, and got wasted. To the point where my dad told my sister to get me out of the party. He said to take me anywhere. Only my sister was drunk too, due to me feeding her booze. We did finally find someone who could drive and they took me to my local diner, which was our high school hang out. It was so weird, almost trippy, to be back, watching people I gave tennis lessons to when they were 10 smoke cigarettes and drink coffee - black.

Now to the title of this post....this year I finally got to attend my cousins' ridiculous Christmas Eve party. I got there and one of the first things I heard was that no one could find the Bon Jovi shot glasses. These shot glasses are apparently the lynchpin of the operation. I haven't seen my cousin as distraught about the holidays since the year when Vinnie Testiverde did not want us to have a good Christmas. Anyway, the shot glasses where eventually found, after a false alarm of thinking some fancy mustard was them (don't ask), and mine was the New Jersey album. Many shots later, and my uncle's rendition of "Man I feel like a woman" on the karioke machine, we stumbled home at 2:30 a.m. I am already looking forward to next year's party.

And don't worry, here are some pictures of J - they speak for themselves. I would imagine that my next walk down the holiday memory lane will involve more Jillian-centric stories, less booze, and hopefully no decorations from the dollar store.

Friday, December 14, 2007

Advice to Young Professionals re: Email Spell Check

"Busty" is a word, therefore your email spell check will not catch it as a mis-spelled word. This occurs even though it is a rare, rare time that you want to use the word busty in a work email.

You probably, however, will use the word "busy" many times in work emails. Therefore, if you are emailing a partner to tell them that you are busy with certain work, make sure you have not accidently written that you are "busty."

Spell check will let you down and not catch it before you hit send.

And yes, I did learn this the hard way, as I emailed a case team informing them that I was, in fact, busty.

Sigh. Between this, my Phillies attire social miscalculation, family obligations, and undying work ethic, I am on the fast track to partnership.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Garbage Cake - YUM!

Today at work someone put out these little holiday cakes that reminded me of one of my favorite holiday foods, the Little Debbie Christmas Tree Snack Cake, pictured above. I love these cakes so much that I once ate one out of a garbage can. This is a true story, and goes alittle something like this.

During finals in law school different groups had to provide snacks each night. Oh and we liked to go to a gas station to load up on further snacks, such as hot chocolate from a machine (which I love), Mr. Pibb, scratch off lottery tickets, and the occasional cigarette. I am not sure where bizarley, justsomeguy and I got our snacks on this fateful night,* but bizarley wound up with a Christmas Tree Snack Cake and I didn't. Not sure how. Some of you may know this, but bizarley hates baked goods (noting of course that donuts are fried), which also lends itself to the absurdity of this story.

So she takes one bite of the snack cake, says "gross" and throws it in the trash, in fairness not knowing my love of the snack cake. I think about it for a second or two, discuss it with them, and decide that I am going to take that snack cake out of the trash and eat it. Which I did. I think they were slightly mortified. I didn't care - it was delicious. And I would do it again.

Oh and if you were wondering what kind of student does this, I graduated magna cum laude. Crazy, I know.

You may also be wondering why I am back posting almost on back to back days. I had a big case settle and with the holidays looming I am not in a rush to get more work. Somehow though, I think the work will find me.

Since I know the pull of this blog is cute baby pictures, here is a random one of a cold, yet still cute, baby. She has her first cold, at age 14 months. That is a pretty hardy baby. She has also learned to jump and say bracelet. She has quite a hodgepodge, to quote JEOPARDY!, of tricks.

*TFry may have been there too, but she may also have been in the hall practicing her gymnastics moves. She can do a split y'all!!

Monday, December 10, 2007

Jillian Hates Santa

Last weekend, my mom insisted that we go to a children's Christmas party at my parents' country club.* It was a nightmare. I forgot that Santa can start a riot among children and that I have no patience for rioting kids. We have all already agreed that we will not be going back next year or any year after that.

Anyway, Jillian hated Santa. She didn't want to be on his lap and almost pulled off his beard. By the way - how were we EVER fooled by a guy dressed as Santa? I mean this guy was so clearly a dude in a beard. I guess being young and stupid helped. Instead of old, jaded, and the only single mom at a family event.

So, here is a picture of Jillian hating on Santa. And one of her in a shirt that states she ate his cookies. Perhaps that is why they don't get along. Or perhaps my mom just loves novelty baby t-shirts (see e.g. "its not a tantrum, I am just expressing myself" onesie; "I am having a bad hair day" shirt).

* Note: this is not a country club like most. It is in Northern NJ. Most members are large Italians who enjoy pinky rings and ginormous white Cadillacs. I once was on the buffet line there and someone (ok it was my dad) came up to me to tell me not to fill up on the salad because there was shrimp cocktail further down the line. That is high class. He didn't want me to miss out. At this Christmas event, if you shouted "Anthony" about 400 people turned around. Plus, all the little girls were in outfits that involved sequins, sparkly things, and/or the word "Princess" in sequins/sparky things. My mom put a gold bracelet on J to help her fit in. I felt out of place because I forgot to get large fake french manicured nails put on before going.

Sunday, November 25, 2007


Nothing much to report. Back from SF and it was fun to see everyone, work at my old office, eat too much on Thanksgiving.

Flying during the holiday wasn't that bad. Except why do people dress like complete slobs on the plane? I hate those stupid Victoria Secret "Pink" sweatpants, that say something stupid like "University of Pink" on the ass. Paired with Uggs, a sloppy ponytail, and a pillow you absolutely have to carry on the 1.5 hour flight, it is a hot look.

Plus, I stopped in Salt Lake City, UT where the inappropriate use of Tevas (and shoes like Tevas) with socks was out of control.

Maybe I am an asshole, but seriously look in the mirror.

Then when I got back, the guy I was dating for a while wanted to go out, so we did. He wants to get back together. I don't think it will happen. I am on a dating hiatus for awhile. In the meantime, here is Jillian walking around saying "no no no" and just smiling.

Saturday, November 17, 2007

A few of J's favorite things....

I am going away this week, back to SF for Thanksgiving with J-town and M. Hopefully will get to see St. Scobie and family. I am kind of nervous though. I haven't been back since I left and I didn't leave under the best circumstances. I am afraid that I will be sad I moved but at the same time remember all the really crappy times I had there. Argghh. I am getting a nervous stomach just thinking about it. I know it will be a good time and need to get over myself.

Anyway, I won't be able to blog much (not that I do anyway), so here is a series of pictures of J with her favorite things - her pocketbook, my wallet, and a fish. She can say pocketbook, which is hilarious and I have no idea who taught her that word. To me "pocketbook" is a word that old ladies use, kind of like "trousers." She can also say fish although it comes out more like "bish." I know you are impressed.

Alright all, Happy Thanksgiving.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Bachelorette Party, part deux

Two of my best friends from law school are getting married within a few months of each other in 2008. These are going to be two super fun weddings and I am excited for both. The other fun part of the impending nuptials is the bachelorette party for each. As mentioned earlier, we went to Austin for TF's and now will be heading to the Big Easy for bizarley's party. I am excited. And yes, the best employee in America, as I take off many Fridays to booze with my friends.

Thus, to commemorate these milestones, here are some pics of me, TF, and bizarley with the guy that stole the show - Larry. Larry proved to be very useful, as I forgot my id when we went out. So we either used him as a distraction and I snuck in, or a very blonde friend would pass back her id in a very obvious way. Both ways worked fine. Yup, I am 30 years old and sneaking into bars without an id. Nice.

And these two fun parties/weddings come on the heals of my famous author friend's bachelorette party and wedding - good times. It has been a fun couple of months getting to see all my friends.

I also felt like I needed to post something after yesterday's cathardic MSTBX-focused post...

Monday, November 12, 2007

Email from MSTBX Count as of 8:11 a.m.

Is three. One telling me he now wants her on a weekend that I have a party for her, which I told him about previously, one saying that he will not pay me the calculated expenses and wants me to pay for his bus passes, and one saying that he now wants the nanny to watch Jillian at his house 2-3 times a week. Note that he lives in a completely different neighborhood, so Jillian will not be able to go to her playgroup, meet her friends out, and her nanny will have a harder commute.

MSTBX likes to be difficult and try to "punish" me when he feels threatened. So here we go.

Nothing like starting a week off like this....

Saturday, November 10, 2007

As MJB Says No More Drama

The divorce process is off to a rocky start. I served MSTBX with the papers and he is flipping out because I pleaded that Jillian's primary residence is my house. Since then it has been phone calls, emails, telling me that I am starting a "nasty" custody battle....sigh. Oh and he is mad I am asking for child support.

The thing is, if I wanted to do something about custody that was "nasty" I could have done it a long time ago. Back when I was pregnant and found out he was cheating, I could have just left (although I was ginormous, see picture above). But I didn't. I stayed, I let him be there for the birth, I let him stay in the hospital with me and the baby for days while I recovered from all of it. Then I let him stay in the house when we came home - for over 5 months - so that he could be with J while she was just a little boohoo. During which time he started dating someone else, constantly picked on me, made messes I had to clean up in order to sell the house, left me to organize our moves, was a constant reminder of his cheating, etc. And NOW, after all of that, I am going to try to screw him out of custody? WTF?

So I see a long road ahead of me and all I want is for it to be over. But it seems that this is only the beginning....wish me luck.

Wednesday, November 7, 2007

A matter of public record

Well, as of Friday, my failed marriage is a matter of public record. This is because I filed for divorce. Now I have to serve MSTBX (literally soon to be!!) with the papers. And I can change my name back, and just not be married anymore. I am actually pretty excited. At first I was on the fence about changing my name back because my married name is J's last name, but I really want to. Even though it will be alot of stupid paperwork, I don't care.

So that is my latest news. Go divorce! And now a random cute picture of baby J...

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Halloween Take 2

Last year, Jillian was about three weeks old for Halloween and I was still recovering from the fairly traumatic experience of losing all my blood during childbirth, so we didn't do much. I had just been cleared by the doctor to go up and down stairs and wasn't up for much trick or treating.

This year, Jillian is all about Halloween. I think her enthusiasm comes from her love of putting things in buckets and taking them out again. Halloween allows her to capitalize on this weird obsession. She gets to take candy out of a bowl, put it in her pumpkin bucket, and then take it out again. After she chose a Mounds bar at the first house, I started putting better candy up front so she would grab it. Like snickers, peanut butter cups, etc. No, I don't care what the other parents think of me. And I was hungry.

Now she is tuckered out and I am about to dig in to the candy....

But first some random thoughts:
1. I bought magnetic letters for J to play with on the fridge, and she loves them. I on the other hand, hate them. I hate coming into my house and seeing the fridge with rainbow colored magnets. I am not sure why. My dad always hated having magnets on the fridge - to the point that he went out and bought a fridge that was not magnetic. We used to just tape stuff up to annoy him. Perhaps I inherited his hatred of magnets? Perhaps I hate that it screams I HAVE A YOUNG CHILD!!!! It is my first time really dealing with the second theory, at least in the "common living area." Don't get me wrong, I realize I have a young child and that is good, but at the same time, it is weird to have it be part of my decor.
2. I hate you US Airways. This Friday (one week after they flew a plane without enough gas to get from Philly to Texas) they almost bumped me and J off of our flight, with the next flight being 7 hours later. I lost it. I fly them alot, bought a full fair ticket two months ago, and had a lap child (not to mention the whole, ooops we don't have enough gas incident the week before) and of all the people on the flight I was the one that didn't have a seat. So I sent Jillian loose - when people said, "oh she's so cute" I told them our story. No one gave up a seat. Luckily at the very last minute someone who checked in still wasn't there and we got on. I supposed I should just be happy.
3. I may be done dating. I have had no success meeting someone who I like AND find attractive. I find attractive jerks and nice guys with great "personalities." I am not looking for a 10 or the captain of the football team, just someone I find attractive. I am a walking cliche.

Alright now time to eat candy.....

Monday, October 22, 2007

Philly Finally Wins One

Philadelphia was ranked by some survey as the most unattractive city in the U.S. Awesome.

I don't know if I am happy about this (less competition for single men/maybe an ugly dude will not care that I have a baby) or sad (poor Philly/am I shallow?). Either way, I hope to not lose sleep over it. I do hope to get hit on more though, you know since the bar is set so low.... (I am kidding of course, unless you want to hit on me...)

And in the background of the picture above, is someone who is ugly on the inside, MSTBX's girlfriend. Jillian tempers the ugliness with her cuteness. Hey, Philly is not in the running for the city with the most mature people either (and I needed a transition here)....anyway, this picture is from his birthday party for J. J looks good in a party hat.

Despite my snarking at the girlfriend, I am in a pretty good mood for a Monday. I went to Austin, TX this weekend to celebrate TFry's soon to be end of singledom. It involved many drinks, one blow up doll (not anatomically correct but with a killer mustache), a surprise pit stop in Shreveport, LA thanks to US Air who didn't put enough gas in the plane to get us from Philly to Texas (seriously - so ridiculous), a ginormous hotel room, lots of queso, and being chatted up by a 2007 graduate of the University of Texas. Overall, a good time.

By the way, northern boys are so fascinated with southern girls. Whenever I told a male friend that I was going to a bachelorette party, that got a sly look and questions about what we would be doing (and suggestions of pillow fights in our underwear). When they found out it was in Texas, every single one made a statement that implied he knew it would be so much naughtier than a regular bachelorette party. If they saw the attractiveness level of the ladies in attendance at this party, their collective minds might have exploded.

Too bad all the attractive people live elsewhere, huh Philly?

Sunday, October 14, 2007

Please Touch

Jillian and I went to the Please Touch Museum today, which was quite an experience. Hopefully neither of us got any communicable disease or random sickness. When the point of the museum is to have kids touch things, the likelihood of walking out of there with more than you went in with (viruses, microbes, flu bugs, etc.) is high. I should say that I am by no means an uptight parent when it comes to germs. I think I am fairly low key. But this museum is like when in horror movies, the campers go into the woods to make out even though they know the serial killer is out there. Here, Jillian and I are the campers, safe toddler fun is the making out, and the serial killer is the dirty ass touch based museum.

Plus, while I am not in the running for any parent of the year awards, I cannot believe some parents. There is a baby area, a "barnyard," for children under 3 years old. This is where we spent the bulk of our time. The point of the area is for "crawlers and new walkers" to have a safe place to play. Jillian falls into the latter category. Anyway, people brought their older kids in, I swear one kid was eight, and then didn't pay attention to their offspring. So eight year olds were jumping off the play tractor, a 5 year tried to drop kick the "fluffy sheep" repeatedly, and another older kid ran around like a banshee knocking over new walkers at every turn. At one point one parent knocked over Jillian and didn't even notice.

I don't want to be "that mom," but I was ready to kick some rule-breaking-parent ass. Jillian and I went there because she needs a safe place to toddle about and the Cole Haan shoe store just isn't cutting it anymore. I paid my $20 (granted that is a bargain compared to a new pair of shoes) and damn it, I wanted to make the most of it. Not have it ruined by kids who don't know better because their parents simply don't care. I was annoyed. And super disappointed in my parental brethren.

Anyway, that is enough of a rant. We most likely will not go back to the please touch museum, at least not on a weekend. It was ok, Jillian just wanted to walk around holding two ears of play corn, and was happy with that. So no worries. Unless of course we get some weird illness.

Monday, October 8, 2007

Happy Birthday!

Now big J is officially 1. You can see what she looked like when she was born on my old blog. She had a pretty good day as far as I can tell, she had some cake, partied with her friends, and then came to work to visit me. She loves coming to my office because she can walk through the halls (usually carrying a highlighter or post-its) and poke her head into offices and say "hi" in her little baby voice. It is hilarious, and generally well received. Then she hides behind document boxes and pops out a wicked game of peek-a-boo.

Now she is all tuckered out, asleep resting up to start year #2. It is weird sitting here alone though. No one to reminisce with about the day she was born and alot of mixed feelings about that time. I can't believe I have been a mom for a year. It has been a tough, but rewarding year. Yes, cheesy I know.

So here are a few more pictures of the lady of honor. Enjoy.

Sunday, October 7, 2007

My attempt at a Birthday Cake

Today my family and friends celebrated Jillian's first birthday. Her actual birthday is tomorrow, but as most of us will be at work, today was a good day to have a birthday brunch.

In my attempt to be a good mom, I decided I would bake and decorate Jillian's cake. So after she went to bed last night, I made the cake, decorated it, and put aluminum foil over it. It looked pretty good, I must say. In Curacao, I tried doing henna tattoos on myself and others and they came out alright, so I channeled those skillz to prettily write "Happy Birthday Jillian" and draw some flowers. I even selectively placed rainbow sprinkles.

But alas, when you just put aluminum foil over a cake pan, it sticks to the freshly decorated cake. Thus, when I served the cake today, it looked, well, jacked up. Please see above. Jillian didn't care, as you can also see that she enjoyed eating it.

The only cake that can be considered lamer than the cake above, was the cake my mom sent to me for my birthday my junior year in college. It arrived at 4011, I opened it up, and it was a sheet cake with the traditional flowers and ribbon icing decorations, but it SAID NOTHING. It was a blank cake. Totally sad. No "Happy Birthday," nothing, nada. While it was the lamest cake ever, it was hilarious. Oh and we totally put the hurt on that cake anyway.

Friday, October 5, 2007


A bit more on the CHILL CHILL CHILL shirt, since the experience was so traumatizing. Above is a picture of a CHILL CHILL CHILL shirt that is, believe it or not, less heinous than the one I wore on that fateful day. Mine was bright aqua, the CHILLs were written in black, red, and white, and it was hella tight on me. Oh and I mentioned it was a "thermal" shirt, you know with the waffling? Nice.

So bizarley, justsomeguy, DT and I jumped in the car to drive to C-ville one boring evening in Metro-Lex. We got smoothies at Smoothie King, went to the lame mall, and then Old Navy. Bizarley found the infamous shirt, saw it was only $5 and dared me to wear it if she bought it. Since I rarely turn down a challenge (unless it involves me working harder at things I don't like to do), I said sure. After the purchase, she put all these caveats on me wearing the shirt. First, I could not tell people that she had bought it and dared me to wear it - I had to pretend that CHILL CHILL CHILL shirts are all the rage. Second, I had to stay at the law school all day (I couldn't go home between classes). Third, I could not wear a sweater or sweatshirt over it.

People stared at me all day. One friend was afraid to ask me about why I looked so weird, for fear I would kick his ass. The ex-friend with benefits of the guy I had just started dating probably got the most pleasure out of my attire. She hated me. I am not sure I ate lunch that day, for fear of ridicule. So basically I made an ass of myself for a day, in a skin-tight, aqua, thermal, CHILL CHILL CHILL shirt.

And yes, we had a lot of time on our hands in law school. The CHILL CHILL CHILL shirt was just one example of how we used up that time. Now that I am gainfully employed you would think I wouldn't have time to google "chill chill chill old navy" and actually find an image of the shirt. I got it the picture from ebay, surprisingly there are no bids. It is at $0.01, but shipping is $3.99. I would buy it for bizarley, but it is a size large and since she fits into a kid's pink power ranger costume (see above re: too much time on our hands), I don't think it will fit.

Wednesday, October 3, 2007

A swing and a miss...

Yesterday, I got the following email, which was sent to the entire firm:

"All lawyers and staff are permitted (and encouraged) to wear Phillies attire to the office tomorrow, unless client meetings or court appearances prevent you from doing so. (no sweatpants, please)

Go Phillies!"

So, since I am a sports fan in general, and know that Philly needs a win in some professional sport (last national title - 1983 76ers), today I got up put, on a Phillies t-shirt, jeans, and sneakers and headed to work. Of course, I was psyched to wear jeans as much as the Phillies attire.

I get to work and I swear I am the ONLY PERSON in jeans and the ONLY ATTORNEY in "Phillies attire." I totally thought that everyone would be all over this opportunity. But I guess my firm is more uptight than I originally thought. Did I read the email wrong...I figured "no sweatpants" meant anything but sweatpants, i.e. jeans. That goodness I scrapped my original plan of coming in dressed as the Phanatic....

And today is a lunch for our new first years, which I am supposed to go to. I am not sure if I will now. I will probably just sit in my office all day, ashamed to show my Phillies pride. Kind of like when bizarley bought me a henious thermal shirt that said "CHILL CHILL CHILL" and dared me to wear it to law school for a day, pretending that it was fashionable (in Lexington, I was considered somewhat fashionable). I got a lot of work done that day, because I just hid where no one could see me. Except I got called on in Torts II and had to deal with her cracking up as I uncomfortably answered questions about design defects in that awful shirt.

Sunday, September 30, 2007

When soap gets in your eyes

Commercials for baby soap and shampoo make it look like the baby just sits in the tub or sink and enjoys the bath. No muss, no fuss. Well, you know what? That isn't exactly how it goes. Wet, soapy babies are slippery little f*ckers. And once a grandpa teaches her how to splash, all bets are off.

Here is a secret - I hate bath time with Jillian. It is stressful, wet, and hard to do. She is good enough, but it isn't that commercial where you use the lavender sleepy time bath soap and she calms down and goes to bed. No, it is splashing diving under the water spout, insisting to stand up, being dramatic when your hair is washed...and then being anything but calm. Diving around, scooting away when she sees her pjs insisting on combing her own hair....

Needless to say, we just finished up bathtime. J is sleeping peacefully and I am doing the Sunday rituals of washing sheets, running dishwasher and tidying up. Don't be jealous

Friday, September 21, 2007

Birthday Blues

Jillian turns one in about two weeks. This is the first time that MSTBX and I have to deal with the fact that we both want to celebrate with her. Which I think is normal and fine, and I am ready to be an adult about it. Then he tells me that he wants to invite his girlfriend to any party we have.

I have not met this woman. She is the one he started dating two months after I had Jillian. I found out about her three days before the bar, that he was planning to visit her the weekend before the bar, rather than helping me deal with a baby, flying, and studying. I told him before he left that I was very hurt and he still went and slept with this woman that very weekend. While I slept in a twin bed at my parents house, nursed a baby, flew cross country by myself, and tried to learn property AGAIN, and knew that he was probably having sex, walking to brunch holding her hand, blah blah blah. It was not a good time for me. You would think after cheating on me he would have been unselfish enough to maybe not date someone while we were still living in the same place? Or when he knew how hurt I was, he could have not done this the weekend before the bar?

Then a few weeks later she sent his birthday present TO MY HOUSE. I had to sign for it because he was at work. So this is a woman that thinks it is ok to send her boyfriend presents at his wife's house. Nice.

Needless to say, I don't want to meet her, especially not at my daughter's first birthday party. In part because of how much he hurt me and also because I can't promise to not loose my shit at having to deal with not one (MSTBX), but two people of loose morals and selfish tendencies on a day that is supposed to be happy.

I said we will just have to have separate parties. He was so offended that I would not invite his girlfriend to anything I put together. And kept repeating that he is her dad and can't be shut out. I am not shutting him out, I just don't want to meet this person at a time that is supposed to be happy.

So, readers, am I the crazy one here? It is fair for me not to want to have this woman at Jillian's birthday party right? Seriously, comments please. Sometimes the crazy with MSTBX runs so deep that I don't know what a normal person would do, if he or she happened to be in this situation.

And here is a picture of Jillian at a brunch buffet, one of her favorite places because she loves to eat. She ate so much here that I thought the restaurant was going to charge me for her. So for her party I was thinking brunch and then some cake. That would make her happy. And that is what is important.

This sucks.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Alabama's Latest Epiphany

Is that Lynyrd Sknyrd wrote a song about it being a pretty sweet place to call home. And Alabama is going to exploit that fact. (I put the link it but it didn't show up. I am going to put it immediately below this, and perhaps you can see it...who knows...I suck at this).

As the State Tourism Director so brilliantly states, the song provides "instant" brand recognition. Is a state really a "brand?" How will this campaign incorporate the tourist haven of the Florabama bar (drinking establishment, not test), which technically is in sweet home Alabama and the slightly less sweet Florida? And has mullet (the fish, not the haircut) tossing contests?

Also, why the hell is this news? I didn't dig for this, it was on's in the news section. I guess by writing about it I am a bit of a hypocrite, but it was my sweet home for a while.

All y'all better comment every now and then...

Monday, September 17, 2007

BPN Can't Even Help . . . I give up!

This weekend I got some of my favorite substance - baby poop - on my favorite cream colored cashmere hoodie. I immediately thought to google "getting baby poop out of cashmere" to see what I should do - perhaps club soda? water? blot? nothing? - until I could get to the dry cleaners.

In the past, every time I googled something related to babies one of the top three results was always something from the Berkeley Parents' Network. Someone in the greater bay area always had something to say about whatever it was I was looking for, back pain, child birth classes, kick counts, everything.

The BPN, however, let me down when it came to the care of cashmere. I guess I shouldn't be surprised as more popular topics are obtaining raw milk, sharing a goat for milking purposes, and vegan organic baby clothes. And dare I say that the poop at issue had leaked out of a disposal diaper! The BPN would probably shun the question based on that fact.

In other news, baby J went to visit her great grandma and proceeded to steal great grandma's walker. Jillian ran around the large visiting room of the nursing home using the walker. It was hilarious. She loved it. I let it continue until it was "movie time" and all the residents rolled down to watch the movie and attack my kid with well-intentioned, but uninvited, attention. Nothing against old folks, but I didn't want everyone touching her. Plus, with her running around cattywompus with a walker one of them could have broken a hip or something.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Bon bini

Since we all look pretty good in this picture, I figured no one in would mind if I posted it. If you do, just let me know!

These are some of my best friends from college - all smart, fun girls. I wish we didn't all live so far apart.

The water behind me is where after a few champagnes, a fellow young mom on break and I cooled our feet after a night of dancing. I think some other shenanigans took place there too....

Anyway, this is a totally random post, but I wish I was still in Curacao, or at least still with all my friends, instead of reading NASD Rule 2720. Oh well. At least I have baby J, who is currently obsessed with a red ball. So much so that she has learned to say ball.

Monday, September 10, 2007

A Love Pie That Never Was....and One That Is Now Official

This Wednesday I traveled to Curacao, a Dutch Caribbean island, for a wedding. One of my best friends was marrying the person she had been with through thick and thin, success and more success, 9 moves, and seven years of dating. It was a beautiful ceremony and a great party.

Plus, we all got a vacation out of it. It was so fun to be on vacation with all my closest friends from college. Now that I am back, it is time to go back to missing them all.

The night before I left though, NB (new boy) and I broke up. We didn't have a big fight, just were going through something, and he just walked out on me. At midnight, he picked up all his things, and left without saying goodbye. Perhaps the most annoying thing is that he was supposed to drive me to the airport early the next morning. Luckily there are cabs.

Also, I had just given him my old ipod as a thank you for being good to me and baby J. He said he wasn't giving it back. Oh well, MSTBX gave it to me, so it is probably fitting that another person with the capacity to just walk away has it. I am more bummed about the brand new headphones I gave him with it.

So that was a bummer. I am not sure what happened to cause him to not even say goodbye. Luckily I was able to confirm the break up via text message so I could have some fun at the wedding. And haven't heard from him since.

That is his eye in the picture above. I cropped him mostly out. He was really good with baby J and a big help in that respect. He never said goodbye to her either. I guess she is young enough that it doesn't matter, but it is a scary thought that if I ever date again she might get hurt too.

Sunday, September 2, 2007

No Dice

I was talking to a few friends the other day and the name of another single acquaintance cameup. One friend said that she had this cute, smart single guy to set up with our acquaintance. It struck me that this person knew I was single, and interested in dating, but had never mentioned this guy to me. I jokingly said, why didn't you set me up, and she matter of factly said because I had a baby. This guy would out of pocket not be interested in me because of baby J.

I guess I looked a bit stunned, as I had forgotten that baby J is a "minus" in the dating world, and she said in a very matter of fact/analytical way that it would be the same way if the guy had a baby and a smart-single-childless-girl was looking.

For some reason, this conversation has just stuck with me, even though it occurred three weeks ago. I guess that there just will be guys who aren't interested in even meeting me because I have a baby. But I also feel very misunderstood at the same time - for reasons I don't understand. I think I have a lot going for me, and I guess as I list sweatpants with cuffs as a deal breaker it is only fair for a guy to list has a kid as a deal breaker.

The thing is - and I am not trying to be obnoxious - the guys I know that are single, or the guys my friends know that are single, are the somewhat successful, educated at a top school, grad degree, kind of guy. And those are the guys that won't even give me a chance. They are the ones who won't bring me home to mom. And that makes me sad.

It is not like I got knocked up drunk at a bar (and let's face it some of these guys may have kids they don't even know about running around). I planned to start a family with my husband, did so, only to have him abandon me in a cruel way. So I am not a slut or anything. I am just pretty young to be divorced, a fairly young "professional" mom, and would like to meet someone like me.

Unfortunately, those people don't want to meet me.

And yes, I do realize that the baby thing is an issue - it should be. And I don't want to be with someone that won't accept J. I just feel sad about it all. And stuck at the same time.

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Dear Michael Nutter:

Please stop emailing me at work. I am not sure if your campaign just went to my law firm's website and pulled all of our email accounts, but your solicitations are not welcome. Congratulations on winning the primary, but I do not want to host a get together of friends, charging each $150, to show my support for you. I do not want to canvass a neighborhood educating folks on how great you are. I barely care that your daughter goes to public school. I am glad that you didn't wait online for a new iphone like our current mayor while murder # 245 in our city took place.

That being said - stop emailing me. It is a waste of your time because (1) it is f'in annoying, which makes me kind of hate you and (2) I am not registered to vote in Philadelphia, I am still a California voter. In fact, I am not even a registered democrat. So please just lay off.


Tuesday, August 28, 2007

??? Anniversary

Today is the year anniversary from the date I found out that my husband was cheating on me. We went out to dinner and then as soon as we got home he got on the computer. As he passed me in the hall he to get to the computer I thought he was going to give me a kiss, but he didn't. I asked for one - he refused. That made me feel awesome.

So I knew he spent alot of time im-ing on the computer and I asked him if he had ever fooled around with the woman he spent all that time chatting with. Someone he worked with at HCRC in San Francsisco. He said no. I pushed it and he said they had kissed one night drunk at a bar. Mind you, that going out and getting drunk was one of his favorite things to do since I couldn't exactly tag along and neither could our fetus. I am no dummy and realize that people in their 30's (she was 39 at the time and still enjoyed doing cocaine, probably still does) don't exactly "just kiss." So it came out that they had slept together.

A few days later, when luckily my mom had come out to SF, it came out that they had an on going affair.

Now that it is a year later, he has come to the conclusion that it was all my fault. That I was a bad wife. That this person, Sue, made him feel special. This person, a 39 year old who looks like she had been rode hard and put away wet, who still does hard core drugs, and cannot go to certain bars because she has screwed one too many bartenders there gave him some boost of self esteem. As of today, he takes no responsibility for anything. He has a new girlfriend and a new reason to feel good about himself. Yet he has no real friends to turn to - not even the 39 year old slut.

This post is mean - I realize that. It is probably too mean and probably immature on my part. I had to spend two hours with him yesterday at the pediatrician (don't worry baby J is fine) and found it so infuriating. He feels that I owe him something - that I need to bow down to the things he has been through without any acknowledgement as to how his own actions got him where he is.

So that all being said, I am glad that this year is over. If you look on my old blog you will notice there were two posts on August 22, 2006. That is what I was doing while he screwed his mistress for the last time before I found out. I was excitedly (and perhaps stupidly so) posting about our baby. He was rolling around naked with someone else.

Again, apologize for the nastiness of this post. While I have come a long way, I still have days where it is all still overwhelming. Today is just one of those days. So I think I will go home and follow baby J's lead in the picture above. Take off one sock and go to sleep.

Monday, August 27, 2007

Fee Generator MP019485

At my firm you have a number that indicates that you are a fee generator (meaning that someone pays for everything you do). I have decided to get Jillian her own fee generator number, although I believe her billable rate will only be about $75/hour. What a bargain. She is a very smart baby. Trust me you want her on your matters. Imagine the oral arguments....the only word she says that makes sense is "baby" and then she blows a kiss. What judge could resist such an argument?

Monday, August 20, 2007

Be sure to keep scrolling down....

Three picture posts tonight. I am trying to make up for lost time...please forgive my lame-ass blogging lately.


New twist to dating as a single mom...meeting the family and bringing along your baby. I went to a family function with NB (new boy) that happened to be a family reunion. Not sure why I didn't think this through before going - but if you go somewhere that involves people seeing each other for the first time in ohh, 10 to 15 years, it probably isn't best to bring some chick and her 10 month old. I got so many comments - "I didn't know NB had a baby!" "I didn't know NB was married!" "That baby has NB's last name written all over her!" (ummmm....not so much).

But she is so cute, that I get why they would want to claim her.

It all worked out fine. We had a good time, Jillian enjoyed some guacamole and a cupcake (I had two cupcakes, because I can't stop myself). The family is Irish, so there was plenty of booze. By the end of the night I could have been anyone. Whiskey will do that.

Besides, his family is fun. They loved Jillian and we had a good time. It was good to see that family is something important to NB as MSTBX never seemed to feel that way.

Baby Summit 2007

This Friday, Jillian had her first sleep over with the adorable Baby A, who also happens to be the fastest crawler this side of the Mississippi. And one of the few babies who gives J a run for her money when it comes to eating.

Anyway, Jillian fell in love -- with A's dad. She loved him. She sat on his lap, let him read her books without trying to eat them, and every time I turned around she had managed to get him to pick her up. Sigh. She is into older men. Too bad for her, A's dad is taken by A's mom.

So here is a picture of J reading a book about trucks with A's dad.

Worst Blogger Ever

That's me. Sorry to those of you who still are checking this site. I have many, many new pictures to share. I was looking at some pictures of Jillian when she was younger and it is amazing how different she looks now.

Did you know that Pat Sajak spent three years in the Army and went to Vietnam? I just learned that on Wheel of Fortune. Yup, my life is still that exciting.

So to start of some posting, here is a picture of baby J chillin' in her box of animals.

Monday, August 6, 2007

Get Clean

Now that the word is out to everyone - I am going to be a bride's maid! I have never been in a wedding so I am very excited. So excited that I promise to bathe before the big day! I probably won't rock the faux-hawk though....

Thursday, August 2, 2007

"You're A Mom!!"

I have taken up the past time of drinking on Thursday nights. Not because I am a bad mom, or an alcoholic, or anything else that MSTBX can hold against me in any pending custody disputes, but to get to know people at my firm. Plus, with summer associates here the booze flows like water.

Anyway, last Thursday a couple beverages into our night at the Continental Midtown someone decided to do shots.* Woowoo shots were mentioned because they had appeared on Entourage. I hate Entourage and I hate fruity shots, so I decided that everyone would do Jagermeister shots.** I like Jagermeister shots and refuse to accept that most people find them disgusting. Just ask Bizarley of "" She was subjected to my love of Jagermeister during Beer Bike in 2004. And then we ate Taco Cabana...Good times.

So Jagermeister it was - I can be pretty persuasive once I have a couple. One summer associate was pretty adament about avoiding the shot. In fact, in trying to do so, she shouted at me "You're a mom!!!" Talk about a buzz-kill. And inappropriate. She got two shots. And her offer is on the line. Just kidding of course about the offer.***

I can have fun even though I am a mom, right? It is not like baby J was staying with me for the night. She was at MSTBX's. It is weird to be a new mom, and yet have a bit of freedom to act like a jackass on certain nights. I think I balance it pretty well, despite the summer's use of my parental status to avoid shots.

*in no way does my firm force anyone to do shots.
**Neither do I. I simply chose the shot people who wanted to do one would do. We are all adults and make our own decisions.
***No one's offer is contingent upon drinking or not making me feel like a shit mom.

Monday, July 30, 2007

Baby Jail

Jillian can now sit up and pull herself to standing in her crib. So now, she protests bed time by pulling herself up and yelling. She doesn't cry, just shouts. It is actually hilarious because she knows to stand at the corner closest to the door where I enter to save her from baby jail.

Now some random thoughts:
1. On my way home from work today I saw a car with a vanity plate that read "To BLSSED" Or something like that. So it was "To Blessed." Many things annoy me about this: (1) it is a vanity plate, which is per se annoying; (2) the grammar, isn't it "too" not "to?"; (3) can you really be too blessed? I don't know, how about so blessed?, and (4) he was blasting, I mean BLASTING, More than Words by extreme. More than Words (remember in the video the drummer just sat on a stool with a lighter because he has nothing to do in that song) was popular when I was in 8th grade and reminds me of our class field trip to the Baltimore Aquarium.
2. I forgot that in Philly after it rains, you need to walk about 5 feet from the curb. Otherwise, when cars drive by you will get soaked by the puddles splashing up. And that sucks.
3. I have to get divorced. I think that MSTBX is going to marry his new girlfriend as soon as the papers are signed. The problem is that we have to meet a residency requirement in PA before filing. We discussed it today and he still has not accepted that he cheated on me. I think he has actually forgotten that we were even married. Not surprising, but alittle bit hurtful. Even though I have moved on (really I have and he is such a bad guy to date/marry) it still hurts that he forgot me so quickly. Good luck new girlfriend. Just don't teach my kid it is ok to sleep with your ex's best friend who is still living with his wife that he cheated while she was pregnant.

Anyway, I hear someone protesting baby jail, so I better go play warden.

Saturday, July 21, 2007

I had a hundred ideas....

for this post, but can't seem to think of one of them. But for fear of losing the interest of my two to three readers, I wanted to post. So here is a picture of a happy baby.

I guess I can say that we went to the mall today and were stopped by at least 10-15 people (no joke) who said how cute she is. None of them were Hollywood baby agents though. Looks like I am still on the hook for paying for college.

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Coffee and Sweat

That is what the conference rooms at my office smell like. At least the ones I have to pass to get to the water cooler, snacks, and coffee. So I pass them about 75 times a day. Each time thinking, why do they smell so bad? I mean we are a pretty swanky law firm for the Philadelphia area. Can't we have non-stinky conference rooms?

I guess that many a stressful meeting and/or deposition has taken place in those rooms. I remember having to go to a three day deposition in one of those deposition death-stars. Where there are a million depos going on at once, court reporters running around, lawyers acting all important, and nervous deponents. Oh and coffee. So the rooms smell like...yup you guessed it coffee and sweat.

At this particular depo I was very very pregnant, so my olfactory sense may have been heightened. But that smell got to me. It may have also been that the night of day one of the depo, I found out MSTBX was cheating on me. Not knowing what to do, I went to day two of the deposition. So I sat there, for 7 hours, thinking about some heavy stuff, trying to time going to the bathroom to cry so that I wouldn't miss anything important, and smelling f'in coffee and sweat.

I didn't make it to day three, as I started having pain in my baby growing region and wound up in the hospital. Turned out to be contractions so I had to go on a few days of bed rest. So that is how my first-ever deposition ended.

Anyway, that is what I think about when I smell the coffee and sweat of our conference rooms and I hate it. Maybe I should febreeze the rugs and chairs when no one is looking? Or put up one of those awful "vanilla-roma" car airfresheners?

So if you didn't guess it already, I am not in the best mood. As I get back into dating, I realize that I am totally f'ed up from this whole affair/end of marriage thing. Honestly, I am glad to be out of the marriage. He treated me like crap. But now, I am so untrusting and afraid to be disappointed by someone else. In part, I "blame" you all, my friends and family. Because you guys are so awesome, I just assumed that everyone operates on the same level of awesomeness. MSTBX was the first time someone truly showed me just how cruel people can be. And I was his pregnant wife, so I didn't take it well. He continued such selfish and awful behavior as I had the baby and our marriage officially fell apart. Now it makes me kind of gun shy in terms of maybe letting someone else into my life. That is so cliche, I know. And it makes me totally crazy and no one wants to date crazy.

With that rambling post, I am off to South Carolina with Jillian. That will definitely put me in a better mood.

Saturday, July 7, 2007

Weirdly Played Paul Hastings

So last night I discovered that there actually is more than meets the eye. I went to see "Transformers" at the "new" theater at Penn. (The theater has probably been there three years, but it is new to me. So much has changed up there.) It was actually a pretty fun movie, although boring at times (see e.g. fight scenes between robots I couldn't tell apart). Seeing it at Penn made it more interesting in that there were so many dorky guys in the theater. Every time the main auto-bot (good guy), Optimus Prime, showed up they went bananas. There was alot of clapping after battles between transformers. I think they liked the robots more than the hot, scantily-clad chick in the movie.

Anyway, here is the Paul Hastings tie in. The main battle takes place in a city with tall buildings that have company names on them. The first one shown says Paul Hastings. I thought it was totally weird for a law firm to do product placement in Transformers. Who knows, maybe the dorky guys cheering for the robots they played with when they were 10 (and maybe still do), have a need for a good attorney.....

Also, in a dating update, the first post-divorce break-up didn't take place.

Just to keep this blog consistent, here is a picture of Jillian playing. You can kind of see her first tooth (bottom gum).

Monday, July 2, 2007

I need another vacation

Today has been a very surreal day. I am happy that everyone is safe and sound.

Nothing much going on in my life. I think that I am going through my first post-divorce break-up. Oh the highs and lows of dating. They seem somewhat frivolous today. I will post more on the subject of dating another day.

Here is a picture of me and Jillian on the beach. We can't wait to get back.

Friday, June 29, 2007

Hot Time Friday Night

So here I am, its Friday night, and nothing much going on. But I am ok with that. Jillian is asleep, I ate my usual gourmet meal of a peanut butter sandwich, and will spend some time browsing the on demand movie list. All is pretty good.

By the way, if anyone comments on my random things list (see previous post), I will comment back with random things I know about you. Fun game.

Not much to say tonight. Just wanted to post a picture. I have so many cute ones now, thanks to my mom and M. Here is one of Jillian chillin' in her baby adirondack chair, which is at the same time cute and ridiculous.

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

You're It

I think I have been tagged by St. Scobie (see link to the right, I have no idea how to make words into links and just can't let blogger win again), to tell "5 random things about myself."

1. I have never kept a calendar. I don't write down appointments, meetings, or events. Ever. So I never have to "check my calendar." Oh and no one keeps it for me.
2. I don't use conditioner and a rarely brush my hair. Is that gross? I mean I wash it, I just don't go the extra mile. My law school roommates can vouch for my lack of a thorough hair care routine. So can M, as she discovered, much to her dismay while visiting, that I don't even own conditioner. I do own a brush, I just don't really use it.
3. I don't like many things that other people like, such as The English Patient, A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius by David Eggers, Knocked Up, the second half of The 40 Year Old Virgin, pesto . . .
4. I have learned that I like to sleep alone. Perhaps I am just used to it? MSTBX used to yell at me all the time about being an annoying sleeper, especially when I was pregnant. I had really bad sciatica (basically a pain in your hip) while pregnant so it would take me a while to get comfortable. He would constantly wake me up to tell me how annoying I was and then stomp off to sleep on the couch. It always made me feel like crap. Maybe that is why I like sleeping alone. Or maybe I just need to find someone better (I guess that is a given).
5. Sometimes, after I take the laundry out of the dryer, I sit under it while it is all warm. Like I pile it all up on me because it is all warm and toasty. Totally weird.

I will have more pictures soon. Promise.

Monday, June 18, 2007

Love Pies in Boston

When I was little, and my middle sister littler, we used to tease each other about everything including boys (who at the time were all infected with cooties). Part of this was writing things like LG + BF and drawing a heart around it. My sister, I guess from all of her intense math training (haha) figured that since we used a "+" sign we had to also use an "=". So what would my initials plus JK's (the only boy she knew of in my class) equal? The logical answer, a love pie.

So yes, my sister tried to tease me by writing "MG + JK = a love pie". Needless to say it didn't succeed in embarrassing me, but rather cracked me up.

Spending some time with my sister a few weeks ago has brought the love pie phrase back into use. But what does that have to do with Boston?

Well, this weekend I went to Boston to watch two friends get married. They were so happy and cute, it was clear that they had made a love pie. So congratulations to J and L and best of luck.

It was a great weekend hanging out with friends, testing the limits of a GSP equipped phone (which I swear told me to go faster at one point), and not eating Dunkin' Donuts despite the fact that there is one every 10 feet in the greater Boston area.

And now, a picture of Jillian trying to steal from her grandma. Little does she know that all she has to do is ask and that grandma will give her anything.

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Are you kidding me?

I honestly don't care about Paris Hilton or the fact that she is in jail, is not in jail, has perfected her signature pose on the red carpet, blah blah blah.

But with all of the attention and outcry of special treatment surrounding her time in the pokey, wouldn't you think her parents would have just played by the rules when they went to visit her? Just stood on the line like everyone else rather than getting to cut the line and hold everyone up?

But no. The Hiltons cut the line to visit Paris. More special treatment for the world to know about. If it were me, I would have just stood there on the line like a regular person. Do you think that the Hiltons are so used to special treatment that they are actually incapable of trying to do things as a regular person would have to? Do you think it even crossed their minds to not draw additional attention through more special treatment?

I don't. I think that these people are so spoiled and so used to life being just that easy that they didn't even think of it. Instead they cut the line without a second thought.

Not sure why this has gotten me so riled up. Maybe because it is country music stars week on Wheel of Fortune so I am already on edge. I hate when Wheel does this shit. I know, I know just turn it off. Or the surprise motion to compel dropped on me today despite a complete failure to meet and confer. Like dude, just pick up the phone, don't tattle to the court.

So to cheer myself up, I will post a picture of Jillian, just chillin'. Actually, despite the Hiltons, Wheel, and the motion, I am actually in a very good mood.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

The Secret of My Limited Success

Formerly was a high tolerance for the mundane and a freakish capacity to memorize things. These two qualities seemed to help me out in law school and as a young associate. Lately, however, I can't memorize jack. And I can't deal with the 300,000 documents that may or may not relate to the big swinging dick to be deposed in the near future. Oh and just to be clear - these document are mundane.

Maybe it is because I have gotten used to the bright colors of baby toys, where the biggest challenge is to get the rainbow colored rings onto the yellow post. Much more exciting than the black and white printouts of emails from 2002, which pose the challenge of remembering enough important stuff to put together a cohesive story.

Oh well. Perhaps tomorrow I will be motivated. Right now I am glad it is summer. Someone pass me a beeroso in a coozie.


Monday, June 11, 2007


This weekend I traveled to the ATL to visit some law school friends. Jillian did not come with me, which was weird because I didn't have my usual travel companion. I will admit though, that it is so much easier traveling by yourself than with a baby. I didn't have to check luggage or wrangle hedgehogs. Plus, she likes to indiscriminately slap arms and legs. Usually our neighbor does not appreciate this. Anyway, I assume she had an ok weekend with her father.

I had a GREAT weekend. It was so fun to see everyone and pretend we were in "college." The tequila shots were unnecessary but took me back to a special time when my body digested alcohol better. And you can never go wrong with taco cabana.

In honor of this weekend, I am doing a celebratory shoulder dance as I type and posting a picture of Jillian looking like she is having as much fun as I did this weekend.