Sunday, September 30, 2007

When soap gets in your eyes

Commercials for baby soap and shampoo make it look like the baby just sits in the tub or sink and enjoys the bath. No muss, no fuss. Well, you know what? That isn't exactly how it goes. Wet, soapy babies are slippery little f*ckers. And once a grandpa teaches her how to splash, all bets are off.

Here is a secret - I hate bath time with Jillian. It is stressful, wet, and hard to do. She is good enough, but it isn't that commercial where you use the lavender sleepy time bath soap and she calms down and goes to bed. No, it is splashing diving under the water spout, insisting to stand up, being dramatic when your hair is washed...and then being anything but calm. Diving around, scooting away when she sees her pjs insisting on combing her own hair....

Needless to say, we just finished up bathtime. J is sleeping peacefully and I am doing the Sunday rituals of washing sheets, running dishwasher and tidying up. Don't be jealous

Friday, September 21, 2007

Birthday Blues

Jillian turns one in about two weeks. This is the first time that MSTBX and I have to deal with the fact that we both want to celebrate with her. Which I think is normal and fine, and I am ready to be an adult about it. Then he tells me that he wants to invite his girlfriend to any party we have.

I have not met this woman. She is the one he started dating two months after I had Jillian. I found out about her three days before the bar, that he was planning to visit her the weekend before the bar, rather than helping me deal with a baby, flying, and studying. I told him before he left that I was very hurt and he still went and slept with this woman that very weekend. While I slept in a twin bed at my parents house, nursed a baby, flew cross country by myself, and tried to learn property AGAIN, and knew that he was probably having sex, walking to brunch holding her hand, blah blah blah. It was not a good time for me. You would think after cheating on me he would have been unselfish enough to maybe not date someone while we were still living in the same place? Or when he knew how hurt I was, he could have not done this the weekend before the bar?

Then a few weeks later she sent his birthday present TO MY HOUSE. I had to sign for it because he was at work. So this is a woman that thinks it is ok to send her boyfriend presents at his wife's house. Nice.

Needless to say, I don't want to meet her, especially not at my daughter's first birthday party. In part because of how much he hurt me and also because I can't promise to not loose my shit at having to deal with not one (MSTBX), but two people of loose morals and selfish tendencies on a day that is supposed to be happy.

I said we will just have to have separate parties. He was so offended that I would not invite his girlfriend to anything I put together. And kept repeating that he is her dad and can't be shut out. I am not shutting him out, I just don't want to meet this person at a time that is supposed to be happy.

So, readers, am I the crazy one here? It is fair for me not to want to have this woman at Jillian's birthday party right? Seriously, comments please. Sometimes the crazy with MSTBX runs so deep that I don't know what a normal person would do, if he or she happened to be in this situation.

And here is a picture of Jillian at a brunch buffet, one of her favorite places because she loves to eat. She ate so much here that I thought the restaurant was going to charge me for her. So for her party I was thinking brunch and then some cake. That would make her happy. And that is what is important.

This sucks.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Alabama's Latest Epiphany

Is that Lynyrd Sknyrd wrote a song about it being a pretty sweet place to call home. And Alabama is going to exploit that fact. (I put the link it but it didn't show up. I am going to put it immediately below this, and perhaps you can see it...who knows...I suck at this).

As the State Tourism Director so brilliantly states, the song provides "instant" brand recognition. Is a state really a "brand?" How will this campaign incorporate the tourist haven of the Florabama bar (drinking establishment, not test), which technically is in sweet home Alabama and the slightly less sweet Florida? And has mullet (the fish, not the haircut) tossing contests?

Also, why the hell is this news? I didn't dig for this, it was on's in the news section. I guess by writing about it I am a bit of a hypocrite, but it was my sweet home for a while.

All y'all better comment every now and then...

Monday, September 17, 2007

BPN Can't Even Help . . . I give up!

This weekend I got some of my favorite substance - baby poop - on my favorite cream colored cashmere hoodie. I immediately thought to google "getting baby poop out of cashmere" to see what I should do - perhaps club soda? water? blot? nothing? - until I could get to the dry cleaners.

In the past, every time I googled something related to babies one of the top three results was always something from the Berkeley Parents' Network. Someone in the greater bay area always had something to say about whatever it was I was looking for, back pain, child birth classes, kick counts, everything.

The BPN, however, let me down when it came to the care of cashmere. I guess I shouldn't be surprised as more popular topics are obtaining raw milk, sharing a goat for milking purposes, and vegan organic baby clothes. And dare I say that the poop at issue had leaked out of a disposal diaper! The BPN would probably shun the question based on that fact.

In other news, baby J went to visit her great grandma and proceeded to steal great grandma's walker. Jillian ran around the large visiting room of the nursing home using the walker. It was hilarious. She loved it. I let it continue until it was "movie time" and all the residents rolled down to watch the movie and attack my kid with well-intentioned, but uninvited, attention. Nothing against old folks, but I didn't want everyone touching her. Plus, with her running around cattywompus with a walker one of them could have broken a hip or something.

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Bon bini

Since we all look pretty good in this picture, I figured no one in would mind if I posted it. If you do, just let me know!

These are some of my best friends from college - all smart, fun girls. I wish we didn't all live so far apart.

The water behind me is where after a few champagnes, a fellow young mom on break and I cooled our feet after a night of dancing. I think some other shenanigans took place there too....

Anyway, this is a totally random post, but I wish I was still in Curacao, or at least still with all my friends, instead of reading NASD Rule 2720. Oh well. At least I have baby J, who is currently obsessed with a red ball. So much so that she has learned to say ball.

Monday, September 10, 2007

A Love Pie That Never Was....and One That Is Now Official

This Wednesday I traveled to Curacao, a Dutch Caribbean island, for a wedding. One of my best friends was marrying the person she had been with through thick and thin, success and more success, 9 moves, and seven years of dating. It was a beautiful ceremony and a great party.

Plus, we all got a vacation out of it. It was so fun to be on vacation with all my closest friends from college. Now that I am back, it is time to go back to missing them all.

The night before I left though, NB (new boy) and I broke up. We didn't have a big fight, just were going through something, and he just walked out on me. At midnight, he picked up all his things, and left without saying goodbye. Perhaps the most annoying thing is that he was supposed to drive me to the airport early the next morning. Luckily there are cabs.

Also, I had just given him my old ipod as a thank you for being good to me and baby J. He said he wasn't giving it back. Oh well, MSTBX gave it to me, so it is probably fitting that another person with the capacity to just walk away has it. I am more bummed about the brand new headphones I gave him with it.

So that was a bummer. I am not sure what happened to cause him to not even say goodbye. Luckily I was able to confirm the break up via text message so I could have some fun at the wedding. And haven't heard from him since.

That is his eye in the picture above. I cropped him mostly out. He was really good with baby J and a big help in that respect. He never said goodbye to her either. I guess she is young enough that it doesn't matter, but it is a scary thought that if I ever date again she might get hurt too.

Sunday, September 2, 2007

No Dice

I was talking to a few friends the other day and the name of another single acquaintance cameup. One friend said that she had this cute, smart single guy to set up with our acquaintance. It struck me that this person knew I was single, and interested in dating, but had never mentioned this guy to me. I jokingly said, why didn't you set me up, and she matter of factly said because I had a baby. This guy would out of pocket not be interested in me because of baby J.

I guess I looked a bit stunned, as I had forgotten that baby J is a "minus" in the dating world, and she said in a very matter of fact/analytical way that it would be the same way if the guy had a baby and a smart-single-childless-girl was looking.

For some reason, this conversation has just stuck with me, even though it occurred three weeks ago. I guess that there just will be guys who aren't interested in even meeting me because I have a baby. But I also feel very misunderstood at the same time - for reasons I don't understand. I think I have a lot going for me, and I guess as I list sweatpants with cuffs as a deal breaker it is only fair for a guy to list has a kid as a deal breaker.

The thing is - and I am not trying to be obnoxious - the guys I know that are single, or the guys my friends know that are single, are the somewhat successful, educated at a top school, grad degree, kind of guy. And those are the guys that won't even give me a chance. They are the ones who won't bring me home to mom. And that makes me sad.

It is not like I got knocked up drunk at a bar (and let's face it some of these guys may have kids they don't even know about running around). I planned to start a family with my husband, did so, only to have him abandon me in a cruel way. So I am not a slut or anything. I am just pretty young to be divorced, a fairly young "professional" mom, and would like to meet someone like me.

Unfortunately, those people don't want to meet me.

And yes, I do realize that the baby thing is an issue - it should be. And I don't want to be with someone that won't accept J. I just feel sad about it all. And stuck at the same time.