Extraordinary (minus the extra)

I am not a super star at my law firm. I do my work, make people laugh by coming in to work wearing Phillies attire, and go home. And now, as I enter my 6th year as an associate at the same firm (which I thought I would NEVER do), I have to suck up my ordinariness and admit that, given that there are 7 people still here in my class year, I will not make partner.

I admit to not being the best little employee. Over the years, I have always gone to weddings, parties, gatherings, whatever, to see my friends. I have taken vacations so that I am the one to show J the beach for the first time. I go to every doctor's appointment. I come home by 5:30 so that I can see my kid for a few hours before she goes to sleep, rather than hiring additional help so I can work late. Same for weekends. I make sure to spend time with my family.

My firm was good to me throughout my separation and move. I am very grateful for that and always will be. It was a great relief to know I would have a job when I came out of all of it.

But the fairy tale only lasts so long. The dork in me wants an A, to make partner. However, the mom, daughter, friend, etc in me knows that I don't have the time, support, or desire to get that A. And that deep down I don't even want the prize that goes with the A. So I need to learn to be ok with a B. This will be hard. I hate to lose. Like really really hate it.

I will start looking for a new job in 2009. Keep your fingers crossed for me. It is time to move on personally, unfortunately the stellar economy disagrees as jobs are scarce.

In other news, J and I celebrated Christmas on Saturday. See pictures. Santa brought her some presents, and I got a Wii, which I am psyched about. The downside is that now she is gone to be with X for the week and his stupid girlfriend. So I am sad and on edge anyway, and the work realization is poorly timed.