Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Google Me

I don't watch Bravo's stupid "Watch What Happens" show where mildly famous reality stars sit with the at times insufferable Andy Cohen to discuss whatever stupidity they displayed on the network that week. But I do watch The Soup on E! because it is hilarious.

On The Soup, they showed a clip of Kim from Real Housewives of Atlanta (or really outside of ATL) singing a song called "Google Me." It was ridiculous and horrifying.

Then, yesterday, I went to google something about moving apps around on my iPhone display screen. I typed in "i" and google offered up a past search of mine - "i have a college education and a jd what jobs are there for me." A very pathetic search in deed.

I also admit that I have googled such things as "I am lonely," "what health insurance plan is best for me," "jobs with little work and lots of money" and "consequences of back-dating leases."

What the eff do I expect from these searches? That google is going to spit out the answer to being lonely or the some resolution re: absurd financial burden of health insurance from an employer that doesn't bother the get workable plans for dependents? Like some site is going say "Do x, y, and z. If you take those three steps you will meet a nice, attractive, smart, funny guy who will make you less lonely or at least make some new actual friends to hang out with (not weirdos)." Or "search fail - there is no help for the rising cost of health insurance, you are screwed."

My uncle, who took weeks to learn how to double click (he never clicked fast enough) once said something along the lines of "the internet is amazing! You can find directions to anywhere on it. I bet the cure for cancer is on it somewhere." I am sure he was just saying that, he is not dumb, but maybe I am? I mean for the answers to be out there, on the interwebs, someone has to PUT them there. I am googling things as if google will finally let me in on the meaning of life. It feels desperate. And lazy. I am pretty sure that being home, alone, googling "I am lonely" is one way to NOT be less lonely.

I am also sure that I will not google Kim from Real Housewives of ATL despite her lyrical instructions to do so.

1 comment:

Bizarley said...

Can I offer a selfish suggestion: MOVE TO CONCRETE CITY!!! Pleeeeease!!!