First Day Rambles

For the first time since becoming a lawyer, I started a job and was excited. Ok, that is a lie. I was excited when I started my clerkship, but my last firm and my first day at the Philly office after transferring were not particularly exciting. Today, even though I sat through such thrilling things as "phone training" and "benefits," I was happy and ready to go. I think I made the right decision. I hope once I start really working that holds true.

I am not sure borrowing J's outfit from above was the best move though....

Tomorrow I have to go to a portrait studio to have my bio picture taken. They put up full length body shots of us, so I am NOT looking forward to it.

And I finally came up with some resolutions for 2010. They are to (1) use and enjoy things that are sunk costs, such as jacuzzi tub, piano, and pricey candles, (2) remember to bring the freakin' reusable grocery bags when I go shopping. I always forget and then buy new ones because Whole Foods employees judge you with their eyes, and (3) enjoy my kid, because she is pretty cool. And it doesn't matter if she is cool because I am a good mom or because nature is overcoming nurture. (and now for the rambling)

When J was 9 weeks old, we starting going to a mom and me group just so I had something to do and a reason to leave the house. The group leader was a nice, older woman who had raised two kids of her own. She told us that the first kid was awesome and everything a parent could want in a child. Then her second kid, was (and was still at the time) a nightmare. Obviously she loved him, but you could tell he put her through the ringer - drugs, booze, bad decisions in general, required a large amount of financial support, etc. She always said (to console the moms with OOC kids) that she thought she was a great mom with the first kid but was contradicted by how the second kid turned out. Her conclusion was that she hadn't done anything wrong in terms of raising the second kid, so she must not have done anything spectacular in raising the first.

My point is, since that time over three years ago, I have never once thought that J is great because of anything I did. If this sweet, motherly, SF bay area retired nurse with a penchant for clogs and "wacky" socks had a terror child and an awesome child then there was nothing I could really do to make J an easy kid or a hard one. And that is the honest truth. As much as people have said J is awesome, I never think "aw, yeah, that's because I rock as a mom."

In fact, I have an "adequate parenting rule" that I guess I have never shared. That is as long as my kid is clothed, fed, and warm and moving forward with education in some form 85% of the time, I am an adequate mother.

Today, I decided I am going to start taking a little credit for J being a good kid. Yeah, most of it is probably innate in terms of her nature, but that nature comes (in part) from me.