Monday, July 19, 2010

Lazy and Unmotivated

I feel like I have to "describe" myself more than I would like to do so. I am trying online dating AGAIN, I don't know why since it never is even fun, and it is all about telling people what you are like in 150 words. So basically tweeting about you, your family, your job, your likes/dislikes.

But in the end it doesn't really matter what you put in those spaces. Really the things that matter are (1) your age; (2) your picture, and (3) your baggage (i.e. divorced, separated, kids, if you are 45 and haven't been in a relationship).

So I kind of want to be honest and describe myself as what I am - lazy and unmotivated. I sit on the couch more than I should. I rarely workout. I could be good at my job if I tried, but I don't. Hell, I could have been good at something if I had only tried - tennis, fencing, school, anything. But I never really tried. I am lazy and at this point, unmotivated to start trying.

Is there something that might induce motivation? I don't know. I haven't found it yet. And after all these years, I am really not motivated to date. But for some reason I decided to try again.

Life for me as a thirtysomething single lady is not all Sex and The City. There isn't that steady guarantee of companionship. It's not all brunch with friends every weekend. Most of all, there isn't a steady of stream of dates or guys to have your way with. For me, its the couch, muddling through the night by writing depressing blog posts.

The thing is, I have been pretty happy lately. That is probably why I decided to try the online dating again. I felt that I could my best self forward and really just enjoy it. We will see what happens. I would settle for someone that is motivation to get up off the couch, put on some mascara and go get a drink.

1 comment:

Letter Paper Flower said...

Um, yeah, college fencing, not to mention Ivy League college and great law school is how I traditionally define "lazy-ass."

If you're motivated to just chill out, nothing wrong wtih that. Don't be so hard on yourself!!! Everyone is driven by different things, you know?