I hate the Oscars

So tonight I settled in to watch the Oscars, alone, unless m&m's count as company, and realized that each year I have a terrible day the day of the Academy Awards.

Two years ago, they fell on MSTBX's birthday. He wanted to go to a specific restaurant and the only time I could get reservations was 5pm. So I made them, invited him and both of our sisters, and puked. I was a few weeks pregnant, so I could not drink and was still feeling really crappy and puked all the time. Then he found out that the dinner conflicted with the Oscars, which apparently he really wanted to watch (they start early on the West Coast). He repeatedly called the reservation stupid, yelled at me, and made the night miserable in general. So I just continued to try and make it a nice night, while running off to puke while everyone else enjoyed their gin and tonics. Oh and then I picked up the pricey tab. Then I sat alone in my bedroom for the rest of the night, with him refusing to speak to me.

The person who had recommended the restaurant was the woman he was sleeping with.

Last year, if you refer to my old blog, you will see that I was studying for the PA bar. Just before the Oscars, I found out that MSTBX was going to NYC that weekend to visit his new girlfriend, who I did not know about, despite the fact that he and I lived in the same house and he was still making me miserable. So while I tried to study, took care of J, and all that jazz, I tried to take my mind off things by watching the Oscars. Take my mind off things like the fact that he was probably having sex with her and/or cuddling with her at that very moment. I hope that none of my readers ever have to learn what it feels like to find out your husband is cheating on you after the fact, and then realize it hurts more to know that it is going on in real time. So for the 4 hour show I sat there, nursed J, and cried. With my bar bri materials open next to me. Well that sums up that whole awful weekend, not just my Academy Award experience.

That was the worst weekend. It was when I realized just how little I meant to MSTBX, just how little respect he had for me as his wife, soon to be ex-spouse, and J's mom. Note, he knew how hurt I was by this, as he watched me bawl for a day before getting in a cab with my kid, study materials, and fly to my parents' house. Then he got on his plane to NYC.

Alright, sorry to be a Debbie Downer, it is just that today has not been the best day. And now it all makes sense. The writers couldn't hold out alittle longer.....just kidding.

Someday, these memories will fade. Hopefully even will be replaced by new ones.