My House-mates

Tonight Jillian is sleeping in her "big girl bed." My parents came over today and the first thing that J said was "GRANDPA! Can you build my big girl bed?" Then she saw that they had donuts (she can recognize a dunkin donuts box or bag from a mile away), picked out a pink frosted donut and forgot about it for a few hours. But since she never TOTALLY forgets anything, she remembered and big girl bed it is. Above is a picture of her sleeping in it.

To be honest, I don't know the logistics of the bed. She can get out of it, fall out of it (not that far down, so that really isn't a concern), but she can also open doors. Thus, she feasibly could have run of the house. We will see how this works.



My other house-mate is Buddy the cat. He is ridiculous. Overall, he is as good a cat as one can find, no real vices except a bizarre obsession with the sink when the dishwasher is running. He does, however, sleep with his tongue out. It is super weird.

I may be a weird sleeper as well, who knows?

Tonight I spent my evening scraping wallpaper. Only I did it for about an hour and half with the wrong side of the scraper blade facing out. As J tells me, "Mommy you are not Bob the Builder." Out of the mouths of babes.....

Outsmarted

In some of my more "on" parenting moments, I have come up with solutions to problems (or borrowed them) that have worked for me and J. But I underestimated J and these "solutions" have come back to bite me in the ass.

For example, when J is having a crying fit, I tell her just to take a deep breath and calm down. She does - she takes an exaggerated breath and stops crying. This has worked AMAZINGLY, if I can toot my own horn for a moment, and has stopped full blown tantrums in their tracks.

Then this morning, I wanted to go down the street for breakfast and was trying to get J to go to the bathroom before we went. She was dancing around, singing "no, no, no" (one of her favorites) so I pretended to be really sad. I stuck out my lip, hunched my shoulders, etc. J looked at me and told me to "take a deep breath." I did, knowing I had backed myself into a corner here, and J said "see now you aren't sad" and continued to refuse to go to the bathroom. My own trick used against me by a 2 year old.

She does this with "kiss it and make it better" too. We were playing on the floor and she wanted me to sit in the middle of the room but I was tired and wanted to lean against something. I told her my back hurt so I couldn't sit where she wanted me to. She came over kissed me on the back and said "there all better" and pointed to the spot in the middle of the floor. Again, bested by a 2 year old.

Needless to say it has been a long weekend of The Jimmies (a kids rock band), trying to see Obama (waaaayyyyyy cold), trying to find The Lion King on dvd (damn you Best Buy of Cherry Hill!!!!), purchasing a fire extinguisher (trying to be safety town), and dinner with L, D, and Baby E (fun and a reminder that we are so not in college anymore).

Oh and the stupid kids CD J has insisted on listening two for the last, oh, 9 weeks or so, is stuck in the dvd player of my car. I didn't find this out until the stupid Best Buy did not have the Lion King dvd, so we compromised and got the soundtrack (because it really was about Hakunna Matta) which I said we could listen to in the car. J took the news of the broken CD player well, but it meant MORE OF THAT SAME DAMN CD until I figure out what is going on. ARGGGHHH!!

Namaste

First, I fixed the links in my blog roll so that they all work. Previously, Above the Law, Go Fug Yourself, and Happy-Go-Lucky did not work. Feel free to send any rewards you feel I deserve for managing my own blog to me at my office. I am never home to get packages.

I have been meaning to post about yoga for a while. Not sure why I wanted to write about it, maybe because my life is SO FREAKIN' BORING that besides J it is one of the more interesting things I have to write about....so here we go.

I started doing yoga in SF and did it regularly from 17 weeks pregnant (at that time I finally stopped puking every five minutes) until 35 weeks pregnant (when I found out X was cheating on me and admittedly let some things slide). I enjoyed it. So when I moved to Philly, I started going to yoga with L.

But it is kinda different in Philly. The yoga studio owner is a bald, tatted up, muscle heavy, philly-accented dude. Not a woman who regularly tells a story about swimming with dolphins and swearing that they talked to her through their hearts. It is a bit more my style, less chanting, more working out.

Man, my life is boring....and so is this post. So I am switching gears. Here is a non-yoga, more interesting story - on Saturday night I was out with some friends and S decided to help me pick up a dude (given my super success in meeting people). We were a few drinks into the night, I agreed, so she picked out a tall, cute boy. After talking to the boy for a few minutes, S ran over to ask me if I knew Y partner at my firm, and I was like "yes, he is big time, the former managing partner of the office." Seriously, not awkward at all. He came over with some friends and we chatted. I learned he is young (26) and that he works in commercial real estate but is not worried about the economy at all (see successful partner as dad). Then I went home, alone, marveling at my luck that the cute, tall boy was the son of one of the most important partners at my firm, and thus off limits.

Overall though, it was a super fun night and involved drinking beers called "double bags" - no joke. I got a kick out of ordering them from the bartender "two double bags please."

I guess sometimes my life is not boring. Just today as I did boring work and stressed out about losing my job and wondering what I would do in that situation. Freak out obviously. But then what? I thought about maybe becoming a dental hygienist but I am not good with mirrors - like I can't back my car up well using them - so I doubt using a small mirror to poke around people's mouths with sharp instruments is for me. I also hate spit. So two strikes against being a dental hygienist. I applied to the FBI but was rejected immediately because of a single answer to a question. I hear the CIA is hiring. Develop a pyramid scheme? Predatory lending? I welcome any suggestions.

2 going on 16

The other day J told me that she wants to grow up so that she can be the boss and "drive drive drive and listen to my music." When I asked her where she would drive, she said "to Florida."

She is only 2! Yet she wants autonomy in (1) being the boss of herself, (2) driving and (3) music selection. Bananas. I may be in for a rough go of parenting in about 14 years.

The Year of Quiet Resignation

I have decided to dub 2009 the "Year of Quiet Resignation." This means that I will quietly resign myself to what my life is, rather than rage against the things I don't like about it or that I cannot change.

For example, no more crying when X treats me poorly. He and his girlfriend are in my life (unfortunately), unable to treat me like a human being (also unfortunate), and there is nothing I can do about it. So, while I previously tried and tried and tried to get him to be nice to me, even in a small way, I am giving that up. I will quietly resign myself to these facts and just keep on keepin' on.

Or my job. As previously mentioned, I am not winning any eager beaver awards there and as success is measured in billable hours, I am not going to be super successful in having a long term career at my firm. Rather than rage against this by freaking out, quitting in a fireball of bridge-burning fury, or other such totally sane reaction, I will quietly do my work, take my pay check, and see what happens.

Also, I will not get angry when I have a killer headache on a Sunday and no one to help me with J when all I want to do is shut the lights off and pretend the world doesn't exist. I won't be sad when day after day, no one is there to ask me how my day was, share the chores or financial obligations, give me some positive reinforcement that I am not a total screw up as a parent, give me a hug +, blah blah. I will instead turn on the Wii, play the piano, read a book, or watch bad tv (including but not limited to Rock of Love Three which is a total disaster that I cannot tear my eyes away from) and remember that even when I did have a husband, he did none of the things listed above (in fact he did the opposite of support me or share in obligations) so I am better off now.

I will not lament my single status, or lack of prospects. I will just resign myself to it for now, and again, see what happens. If I meet someone who won't like me because I have a kid, rather than get mad at that person, I will just quietly accept it and move on.

Thus, the "Year of Quiet Resignation." I am not sure if this will lead me to be happy with what I have in life, and accept what I cannot change, or whatever saying is appropriate (with the caveat that I am looking for a new job and would not turn down a date if asked out) or if it will cause me to try my hand at severe depression. I realize this post sounds like a bitter plea for pity, but it isn't really. It is a new outlook as I usually freak out and try desperately to change my life (some times admittedly these changes work out well). I promise that I am not trying to make "quiet resignation" into "complete loss of hope" even though that seems like a very fine line.

2009, It Has To Be Better Than 2008, 2007, 2006, 2005 . . .

Right? That is what I have told myself each year for the past couple of years. And yet it never really comes true. 2008 sucked for reasons that were different than those that caused 2007 to suck, but it still was a tough year nonetheless. "Sucked" is a bit harsh, and yes I have J and all that, I am fully aware of what is good in my life.

That is why this year, I am going to try to focus on what is good and not what is "missing." That is, lose the grass is always greener attitude. I have a good life. And as Slim Charles says "that's the thing about the old days, they the OLD days...." so it is time to move on, leave the old days, the good and the bad behind me.

Apparently, I am also going to continue to be an effin' cliche.....I kind of hate myself for writing this hokey bs, but maybe it is part of trying to live it? Maybe I feel rushed to write this post because the picture is really cute and appropriate only now, not a week from now, and I don't feel like writing so this is what the result is? A crappy post overall?

It doesn't really matter - because I want to wish everyone a happy new year, from J and I - A toast to 2009!