Two Posts Today - Just call me an overachiever

Auntie L came over this week to make a gingerbread house with J. Perhaps to make up for teaching J the pete and repeat joke? Anyway, J saw the box and said "this is going to be a masterpiece." Two minutes later I was reading the back of the Williams Sonoma box and it said something like "create a masterpiece with your children." Did she read the word masterpiece from the box? Unlikely, but still a weird coincidence. I never heard her use that word before.

The construction begins


And then J went to put on a gum drop in an overloaded spot, so I said that that place was full and she could eat it. She does, then promptly picks up another, informs me that there is no room for it on the house and that she better eat it...slick little boo.


Here is the finished product vs. how it was supposed to look. I guess this is what you get when you subcontract out the work....

Parenting Mu-Galto Style: Products

Continuing on my last post while pictures of gingerbread houses and snow upload, here is a list of products that I found useful when J was a little boo. Again, I am by no means an expert, but my mom was out of control in terms of purchasing stuff for J. Oh and I have no idea why these things are good in terms of actual development studies or other uber parent information sources, they just were good for us. If you click on the link, it takes you to a place to buy. Just for convenience, I am not getting a cut from Target or anything. So here we go....

1. Munchkin Bottle warmer - this thing was just handy to heat up a bottle without making it too hot and without overheating the nipple. Yup, I said nipple.


2. Microwave Bottle Sterilizer - sterilizing bottles is a pain in the arse. Cleaning them too. The microwave bottle sterilizer was quite handy, just some water at the bottom and a few minutes in the microwave and presto - done. Does it actually work in terms of sterilizing? Who knows...but it let me check off "sterilize bottles" without much work, so sold.


3. Froggy Prison - this thing is great because you can put the kid in it and do things like eat, deal with partners who have your cell number, and brush your teeth. I probably put J in it when she was a bit too young and she barely could get her arms up and out of it. Hence the name froggy prison. See below, that is a young J.



4. Taggie Blanket - I don't know what it is about tags, but babies and toddlers love to rub them. When J was about 10 months, this blanket was important in the quest to get her to sleep. She still takes it to bed. I refuse to let her take it out of the house for fear of it turning into a "blankie." Um, I totally had a blankie btw.


5. Columbia Diaper Bag Backpack - I know, I know. This doesn't fit in with my designer handbag collection. And there are so many other cute diaper bags, kate spade, coach, LV make them. But this one is the best. Remember school? How a backpack freed up both hands to do stuff and didn't slip off your shoulder? That is a hundred times more important when trying to deal with a baby. This is roomy, comes with a changing pad, and has a hot/cold pocket for a warm bottle or a chilled bottle. It is awesome for traveling, etc. Go ahead an buy an expensive nice bag, but drop the $45 for this one too.



6. Aaarrrrgghhhh Spider! - I don't know what it is about this book, but J LOVED it. We read it all the time and I think it helped her start to recognize letters. Someone gave it to us, so props to that person (sorry I don't remember who!)

7. Hedgehog chew thing - Jillian loved this guy. We had multiple hedgehogs in case of loss. Google has failed me in terms of a site where you can buy it.

8. Breathable Crib Bumper - J rolled all around and got her sausage legs stuck in her crib on a regular basis. Of course, I was told I could not use the very expensive cute bumper I bought, so this ugly, but cheap and functional one would have to do.

9. A grandpa who is a baby hog - as far as I know, these are not available in stores.


I am sure there are more I don't remember. But I would like to give a shout out to today's inspiration - Ms. E aka "the Pipster" the new arrival in the jbux household. She is adorable, may grow up to have a British accent, and I can't wait to meet her! (JB let me know if you want this down...she is so cute, I couldn't help it!)

Parenting 101 Mu-galto style

I was checking out bizarley's blog while eating some lunch today, and it looks like she made her first foray into shopping for the bun that is in her oven. This inspired me to share some of the parenting tips I have learned over the years. Keep in mind, NONE of these are from books, a few are from fellow parents, and I am generally too lazy to consider things like safety, etc. (I mean I try to keep J safe, but instead of baby proofing I just told her not to do stuff and she listened). Here we go:

1. Do not buy a Combi Stroller - they suck.

2. You do not need the Bugaboo unless you have a need to compete with other parents in terms of stuff. It is $900 and the bassennet part doesn't fold. Difficult to get into the car.

3. Of all the strollers I have purchased - which is 4 - I like the Bob jogging stroller the best for the city, and my free babies r us umbrella stroller for travel.

4. Purchase a baby bjorn (I never figured out any of the slings). With the baby bjorn, do not feel weird taking your baby to happy hour. Once the child is older, still take him or her to happy hour, just order him or her a cheese plate or chips. Ask them to substitute anything for the stinky cheese.

5. Chuck E Cheese is not a bad deal if you go at off times. They open at 9am and no one is there. $10 bucks of tokens buys you an hour and a half of "fun."

6. Ikea - seriously, take the kid there, run around, grap chicken nuggets, and it is a good day. (credit to St. Scobie)

7. Put the wii on one player but give the kid the second paddle. Then you can play against the computer but the kid will think he or she is playing.

8. Take everything that grandparents give you. Kids are $$$$.

9. Of all the stupid things I had, I actually liked the wipe warmer.

10. Bring the diaper bag everywhere. If you think oh, I will just through a diaper in my purse and go, something will go horribly wrong and you will wish you had the diaper bag.

11. When traveling ask for a bulk head seat (assuming you are not in first class). These are the ones right at the front with no seat in front of them. The airlines will usually give them to someone traveling with a child in his or her lap and this way no one can put their seat back and bonk your baby.

12. When the kid is about 1.5 get him or her a small stroller to push. They will love it.

13. Just give in to the Disney. It is going to happen.

14. Also get used to the fact that you can no longer pull the car over and pop in to get coffee or return a video or something. The baby is in the car.

15. You can spend lots of money on toys and the kid will want to play with a box.

16. Cheap stuff is fine - I recommend the target onesies that zip up. They are easier than messing with buttons and I gar-un-tee you won't mind throwing one or two out after a poo-splosion.

I am sure I have more and will update. Good luck to everyone who has recently had a baby or will in the near future! I want to come meet all these new little people.

So November was apparently blogging month...

I guess I missed it for the most part. Sorry for the absence. Just alot going on - San Francisco for Thanksgiving, work going bananas, medicine that literally makes me a zombie, and X be an a-hole.

Anyway, I promise to write something entertaining, or at least something that makes an attempt at being entertaining, soon. Right now I am watching the biggest loser finale and then on MTV a new show that follows some of the girls from "16 and Pregnant." Needless to say, I cannot miss that.

In the meantime, here is a picture of J that I debated posting for a long time. If it is out of line, please let me know. But I don't need to know if you think I should have a mail order bride, anonymous spam commenter. The story behind it is that she has balsamic vinegar on her upper lip. When I make a salad to take for lunch, J likes to smell all the ingredients. It actually is hilarious, she wrinkles her nose and is all dramatic. Well today she got alittle too close to the balsamic vinegar bottle. And this was the result. And I am not posting this picture because I find the resemblance to a certain evil doer funny. Just because she looks ridiculous, and I thought like Charlie Chaplin until I took a second look. So please no one take offense. Or do, and let me know and it will come down.

Ok, after all of that, I am not going to post it.

Potent Potables

This Saturday I tried karaoke at Yakitori Boy here in Philly with a bunch of friends, a bunch of sake and a bunch of Sapporo beers. Needless to say, it was super fun. It was also a bit sloppy at the end. And as a testiment to my age and situation, my body decided to revolt against my decision to imbibe. I did not get out of bed until 6:00 pm on Sunday. Total waste of the day. But also kinda worth it.

Saturday night occurred right on the heels of my first parent teacher conference for Jillian. So nice juxtaposition. Oh and X asking me if we could get an annullment of our marriage. That is topic for another day, because I could rage about it for a whole post. Which I probably will, but just another fun day in my life with X.

Anyway, J is rockin' school. Not surprised. The teachers love her, she is doing "work" beyond her age even though she is the youngest in the school, she is polite and has made a ton of friends. As stupid as it sounds, because seriously, it is pre-school...and it is Montessori pre-school, so I have no idea what is going on. Apparently, J plays with a pink tower (a stack of square pink blocks) and the brown steps (a stack of brown rectangles) at the level of a 4 and a half year old. Because that means something in Montessori speak. If the teacher was like "Yesterday she recited the preamble to the constitution" I would be impressed, but blocks? Whatever. I chose to believe that J is getting on with her self directed learning self.

Apparently I was so impressed with J that the next day I decided to get drunk off my arse like a dumbass.

Roadie

As one commenter (Auntie L) pointed out, J acts as her own roadie. After her performances, she breaks down her microphone and moves it away. See below, but scroll up not down. Computers are hard. Oh and bizarley, you can have THIS microphone. It was a birthday present to J from someone who obviously doesn't like me.

Showtime at My House

Jillian seems to overflow with energy when I get home from work. Recently, this energy has been channeled into "entertaining" me. Here is tonight's show. It consists of multiple segments, first a few songs to warm up, then a nonsense word song so that she can really get into the dance portion, finally she finishes up with some jokes. Ok, I lied, I have only put up the songs because it is taking forever to upload the videos and the Phillies just gave up 3 runs so I am convinced that my blogging is unlucky for the Phils. I will go back to sitting in the exact same position I was sitting in when they were hitting home runs....

My Parents vs. Any and All GPS Navigational Systems

This weekend I went to the homeland (NJ) for my cousin's wedding. It was great fun, lots of booze, wealthy old dudes who made their fortune on bowling alleys and pin ball machines, way to much food, and a next day brunch that didn't start until noon (see lots of booze, supra).

But for the majority of the weekend, when I was not on a party bus, I was in the car with my parents and their navigational system. Driving with my parents used to be frustrating - my mom knows every single road in Bergen County NJ and my dad usual knows two ways to get somewhere (1) the right way and (2) a HIGHLY inconvenient, stupid way. He always chooses (2) and we can't say anything to him, well because, he is the dad. So basically it becomes my mom telling him where to go, him going his stupid way, everyone groaning because for this reason and also because they also only listen to "Oldies" and we are going to be in the car for a long time even if we are going 5 miles.

Enter the GPS. As a preliminary matter, my dad is a "fiddler" in that he physically cannot drive without messing with some knob in the car - the temperature controls, the radio, the windows, the mirrors, etc. Thus you always feel about one switch from CBS FM to 1010 WINS from an accident. Needless to say, the GPS (and satellite radio) ups this fear because it is another thing to fiddle with.

The GPS also creates a new dynamic. The entire ride, ENTIRE RIDE, is my mom going "Oh its taking us down X road!" "I wonder if we will go down X road!" "Do you know where we are? we are at X!" "L went to basketball camp here!" "You played soccer here!" "This is where you broke your foot!!" and my dad turning at the street before the street we are supposed to go down because "turn in 500ft" apparently means "turn now" to him. Well sometimes it is "is this the road? is it is it?" and my mom responding "Oh we are X!!!, it is taking us to X" and us missing the right turn. My dad also puts in random addresses because he claims the GPS doesn't recognize their address. So he uses his office's address. His office is three towns from their home. This "fix" adds 20 minutes on to every ride home.

After the last ride with them, I said goodbye, thanked them, got in my car and drove immediately home. To Philadelphia. Without using my effin' GPS.

In other news, they asked me if they could get rid of their apartment and live with me 10 days out of every month. Because I do believe that one should always be there for the people that were there for you in the tough times and because they are my parents, I obviously can't say no. Also obvious - this development solidifies what was already likely - I will be alone for the rest of my life.

A Tale of Two Saturdays

Here is what Jillian did on Saturday. Compared to what I did. She went to the mall with my parents while I had the pleasure of going to work to draft an opposition to a cross-motion for summary judgment. I know, I know, I am one lucky girl. Without my supervision, Jillian convinced my mom to (1) give her soda (apparently she didn't like it) and (2) take her to the Disney Store. Effin' princesses.

That is when things went down hill in terms of our princess consumption. Somehow they left the Disney Store with a full-out Cinderella dress and glass slippers that are "up shoes"* and light up with each step. I think the total cost was upwards of $50. Seriously, Disney is a marketing machine. Then they got a Phillies t-shirt. I think that was about $8. Go Phillies! Or as J says "YEAH PHILS!! REPEAT!"

Anyway, I came home after a solid 6 billable hours (work has seriously picked up) and Jillian was sitting in a Cinderella dress, being a princess, while playing with a princess castle. And I was jealous.

*J's term for high heels.

A Farewell to Buddy

It has been a rough month for pets at my house. First the untimely demise of "Mommy" the goldfish. Then on Friday at about 11 am I got a call from our nanny telling me that my cat Buddy had died. Buddy wasn't sick, he was approximately 3 years old, and it was all totally unexpected.

I told Jillian about it on Saturday when she wanted to throw the plastic milk ring to Buddy-bo. She asked if he would be coming back and I said no. Then she asked "does this mean we don't have a cat anymore?" When I said yes, that was when the tears came. I reminded her that she still had two cats at her father's house and J, once again demonstrating her practical thinking said that we should bring one of those cats to my house.

Anyway, I am bummed. Buddy was a good cat. Unobtrusive, a good companion, neat and clean. Not much more you can ask for in a cat. As soon as I held him in the shelter he started to purr, so we adopted him. He made good on that first representation and I am pretty sure he was a happy cat while he was with us.

So, pour one out for Buddy.

Life With a Three Year Old

Jillian turned three last week. She was very excited, even though it was a low key birthday. Her teacher emailed me to say that they do a celebration first thing in the morning and that I was to bring in a COLLAGE OF PICTURES OF J. Seriously? A craft project?! Work has been busy and I do not have time for crafts. But I bucked the eff up and went to get craft supplies - poster board and a sharpie. Except there was only black poster board at the local CVS so I had to get glitter pens. $15 later I was armed to make the damn collage. And I did make it, at the very last minute.

It was worth it I suppose. J was very excited to see the collage and tell her classmates about the pictures. She told them that every picture of her when she was "boring." (She meant born, even though they were pictures of her "through the ages" as I was instructed to use). Then we ate munchkins. Good times all around.

Later, when we were home, we had some ice cream cones. She asked me if I like "messy faces" or "clean faces." I said clean faces (duh) and then she said "then don't look at me" and dug into the ice cream cone.

Fish update - I didn't buy the new fish. Instead, I told her that one fish got sick and was gone. She took it well. I didn't ask if it was "Mommy" or "Jillian." A week or so later, she informed me that the fish in the bowl was "Jillian." I guess that means "Mommy" bit it.

I am totally boring lately, but wanted to post some pictures of J's birthday.

Sleeps with the Fishes

J's nanny bought her two goldfish. This was a long time coming and I had dodged it for months. But it happened on Monday. Two fish. In a small bowl. Just waiting to die within a few weeks, maybe months if they are lucky.

I asked J what she named them and she said "Mommy and Jillian." I was touched. But apparently she told X when he was sad he was left out that it could be "Dada and Jillian" when he was at our house. (Just picking her up).

But today, a Saturday on a weekend that I don't have J, I checked in on the fish and sho 'nuff one was floating on top of the water, dead. Didn't even make it a week. She or he didn't look good the other day and I told J that she/he might be sick. Turns out she/he was sicker than I realized.

Now the question is - do I get a replacement fish tomorrow and act like nothing happened, or do I tell her about the demise of either "Mommy" or "Jillian?"

The pros of telling her the truth are (1) I don't have to find a pet store tomorrow to get another fish; (2) I REALLY do not want the fish, so I don't want to prolong this whole fish experiment, which replacing the fish would do, and (3) I don't have to lie to her - I actually don't lie to her, I mean she normally catches me in it anyway or calls my bluff....

And the cons are the following: (1) we have to deal with the concept of death; (2) she named the fish MOMMY and JILLIAN (I really wish it was like Nancy and Tony or something); (3) the trauma may require another fish which defeats one of the pros.

So what do I do? I really don't know. I have until Monday at 11:45pm to figure it out.....

WOOF

Jillian has learned to ask people with dogs if their dog is friendly and if she can pet it. So now, every time we see a dog she wants to talk to the owner. The owner is rarely a hot single guy.

J's love of dogs goes back a long way. "Woof" was one of the first words she said. She called dogs "woofs" (and horses were "woofs" and cats too). Here she is with a great dog, Emma, who we got to hang out with in concrete city. Oh and when she was going through a tutu phase.



And here is J, bizarley and Emma playing a game called "go to your home." Basically J or bizarley would tell both dogs to go to their home (cage) and one dog would listen - that would be Emma - while Harley either ignored us or just checked out what was going on and went on his way.



Anyway, Emma is getting alot of (long overdue) press these days, so I am jumping on the bandwagon.

This fool got into school?

Just kidding J is no fool. Just acting like one in this picture. Apparently she is tearing it up at school. She got to use scissors for the first time ever, made a peace pinwheel, and is already talking about graduating. Yup, graduating to a school where she gets to bring her lunch in a lunch box, a lunch consisting of a sandwich and a juice box.

Above all, J does not even turn to say goodbye when I drop her off at school. She just walks right in, says hi to the people who open the door, and goes straight up the stairs her classroom. While I am beyond happy that she has transitioned into it without tears or fits, alittle angst about leaving home for part of the day would be nice. But, whatever, I will take a low key kid that just rolls with it.

Her teacher said to me, and I quote "that girl is going to run something someday, I am not sure what...but something."

Let's hope that it is some profitable corporation that does not flaunt Sarbanes-Oxley, does not need a bailout from the feds, does not create shell corporations to sidestep FASB regulations, and leaves little to no emissions footprint, rather than something like "the mob" or "a brothel."

A New Form of Torture

Tonight I had to attend what would be "back to school night" in a normal school, but since J goes to a Montessori school, it is back to school night on crack. First there was a pot luck dinner with awkward mingling. And a bizarre selection of food because we were assigned to bring a dish for a particular course (apps, main, dessert) by last name but there were too many people with last names in the dessert category. I know, dear reader, you are worried that my homemade panna cotta got lost in the shuffle. Yeah right, more like cheesecake from a bakery in the Comcast Center food court.

I digress. After dinner was a "workshop." With icebreakers. I admit that perhaps I dislike too many things, including but not limited to, pictures of babies dressed as flowers, Chuck Palahniuk novels, city wide scavenger hunts for adults, cooked salmon, Disney Princesses, etc., but ICEBREAKERS are also on the list. I HATE THEM. Find someone who is left handed!!! One of you has met the President!!! Seriously, just kill me now. While tonight's icebreaker at least involved our kids' classroom and was only five questions long with one BONUS question, it still sucked.

I digress again. Weird dinner and ICEBREAKERS were not the full extent of the torture. So you know how things like this are almost bearable if you have a go-to person to talk to during the awkward dinner? Or someone that you can turn to and make fun of the parent who seriously just asked how many times the children wash their hands per day (if that is what you are worried about lady, you better be the one to volunteer for all the shit they want parents to do because clearly you have alot of time on your hands)? Well, when I went to roll my eyes at the hipster*/rock-a-billy, nose ringed, tatted up mom who needed attention like I need a date (read: badly) who asked who "my person" was - she wanted to know my kid's name but couldn't just ask like a normal person because she was so tragically hip - I only had X to commiserate with. On top of the fact that we do not particularly enjoy each other's company, he doesn't appreciate me criticizing the tragically hip.

Not to be dramatic, but it was what I imagine it was like when during the Tudor period some people were not just beheaded, but hung first THEN took down alive THEN beheaded. Here it was not just awkward dinner, but workshop with icebreakers, and then having only X as company and to joke with. Blech.

*Please note that while I rail against hipsters alot, I don't have a problem with people who are legitimately being themselves, including genuinely hip people. Anyway, this sentiment applies to anyone who trying too hard to be something; not just hipsters - it could be a dirty hippie/trustafarian, a suited up douche-bag handing his card out at the bar, whoever.

First Day in What is Hopefully a Long Academic Career

Today was the first day of school. But it was just a short day with a parent staying in the classroom. What in Montessori terms is a "transition day."

After initially telling me this morning that she was actually not big enough to go to school yet, J was a superstar. She hung her backpack up in her cubby and went straight into the classroom. Absolutely not a care as to whether I was there. She checked everything out and was excited by things such as The Very Hungry Caterpillar ("hey we have that book at my house!"); steps up to a book nook ("can I put this book back?"); doing puzzles; playing with finger puppets; and chatting up a storm.

The highlight, however, was the toddler sized toilets and sinks. J LOVES when there are legit plumbing fixtures that are her size. That was the one time she acknowledged me - "MOMMY THERE ARE SMALL SINKS HERE!!! I WASHED MY HANDS IN A SMALL SINK!!!"

Whatever gets you through the day, little boo.

Leaving Your Child Unattended

I admit to sometimes turning my back on J. Yeah, yeah, go ahead - judge. But it happens. Plus she learned to lock her bedroom door, which is awesome and not scary at all as I try to turn the knob and can't get in, wondering what the eff she is doing. So we are getting to that point where I just can't watch her every second. Well, maybe we have been there since oh, October 8, 2006.

Annnnyyyyyyywwwwwwaaaaaayyyyy, J wanted to do her own hair one day. Not a problemo as I don't do a very good job with her hair myself. So I handed her the basket of clips and hair ties. I turned my back and here is the result.





Another popular activity for when I am not paying attention is playing pranks on me. The current hilarioso prank is "hide the snake" (totally unrelated to the Ride the Snake Club from college). Basically this is how it goes: (1) J hides a snake (she has a shockingly large collection of snakes) and (2) I find it and "freak out" while she laughs. Examples below. The snake used in the pictures below was purchased by justsomeguy for J in Mexico during our infamous funship cruise and loves quite candlelight dinners, cuddling, world travel (obviously) and napping in between the pillows on the couch. Just in case you were curious about the snake's interests and background. (Yes, I read alot of personals...shut it.)

The Ropes

On Saturday J and I had the following conversation:

Me: Do you want to go to the Please Touch Museum tomorrow with Grandma and Grandpa?
J: Please Touch? Yes.
Me: You'll show Grandma and Grandpa the ropes?
J: Yup

The please touch museum was not discussed again until brunch Sunday morning.

Me: So what are you going to show Grandma and Grandpa at the please touch museum?
J: The ropes
Me: Huh? They don't have ropes at the please touch museum...
Grandpa: Yesterday you asked her if she would show us the ropes.
J: Yeah, the ropes.

I had totally forgotten that I had used that expression. Of course J hadn't and was using the expression literally.

I had cute pictures to post but for some reason my camera and computer are in a fight an the pictures are not downloading. This is the new camera that I recently purchased to replace the one I got for Christmas that decided to only take pictures of black squares. I am annoyed.

Putting the hurt on some corn

J loves corn on the cob. It is hilarious to watch her put ear after ear away. Today I skipped school (work) and we went to Wegman's together. (Where by the way, you can purchase a snuggie, so it was gratitude overlap - J, snuggie, wegz). Anyway, we got some fresh jersey corn. One of the many things Jersey just gets right. That along with political corruption and hair that doesn't move in a tornado.

J puts away cob one:



Notice that the mac and cheese isn't even touched - MAC AND CHEESE! NOT TOUCHED!



Then round two:



How does one burn off all these corn calories, you may ask? Easy. Wiggle Dance

Gratitude List

Last night I was watching "Secret Lives of Women: Mothers of Murderers" which was oddly riveting, and at one point a mom was sharing how her son who is in jail for life makes it through the day.

Apparently, the son said that he keeps a "gratitude list" of things he can be grateful for despite his situation. While I had a typically whiney post planned, I decided that if a dude in jail for life can find some stuff to be grateful for, so can I. So here we go - my gratitude list as of today.

1. A healthy, funny child



2. My family - sisters included even though they are not in the picture



3. My snuggie


4. My friends, old and new, the ones I see, the ones I don't see often but pick up with as if we hadn't been apart, all of them. (No picture because I wasn't sure who would want the extreme popularity that comes with being associated with this blog. I am talking paparazzi, being stopped on the street, all the trappings of fame.) Wait, I lied, here is a cute one and since it was Auntie L's birthday celebration, she was famous anyway. As is Baby E as she a baby about town.



5. The fact that I have a job

6. My education



7. The fact that I am not on the Maury Show (I am watching it dvr'ed right now because I was home with food poisoning on Monday and saw the first half of "I slept with two sisters am I the father of both their children?" and could not bear to not find out the answer, so I recorded the next day's episode and the results are in - HE IS NOT THE FATHER!!! Of the baby of the sister he is not dating, THANK GOODNESS I KNOW)

8. My general physical health

9. My jacuzzi tub or more that I was able to create a nice space for myself, as in it was in my reach to do so.



10. The fact that J will experience "picture day" for the first time on January 29 (I was looking at her school calendar today because I don't want to blow more deadlines - I almost booked a trip for myself to the beach for her first week of school EVER, nice work)

11. Wegmans


12. My house, leaving aside the pesky mortgage

13. My ability to leave X despite being in a "delicate way" (huge) and scared out of my mind, instead of still being in a terrible relationship to this date - I am grateful for this for myself and for J, as I do think it is better for her that we are not together



14. Generic prescription sleeping pills

15. Cheeseburgers and a good beer



I had a goal to write 15 things, without all of them being a joke. Of course many of the things I am grateful for have corresponding things that bring me down and thus were conjured in the making of the list. Or for example, my diamond stud earring would have been on the list, if they had not gone missing.* I tried to compartmentalize the bad from the good, and did so for the most part other than the mortgage thing.

*these earrings are of import because I bought them for myself as a present when I got my first bonus from the firm. I had had a bad day, X had been particularly miserable, and I just went for it, rationalizing that I would have them forever. And also that it was taking the money and turning into something that X would not notice as an asset if we separated. So he couldn't take them. Thus, their disappearance is very disappointing for those reasons. Also I wore them pretty much every day. I guess earrings are just "things" so I should let it go. But I am bummed. Anyhoo, I am grateful to have had them for the years I did.

Chubby Yoga

J was demonstrating some yoga moves today when I got home from my cool job.

First, she needed to get out a mat.



Then find a spot in "class."



Start with a little down dog split.



Then tree pose.



End with airplane pose.



Namaste.